“Russian translators” or “This is how translations are done!”

In ancient times, before Xyn was destroyed, when King Gryphonheart was alive and well, and Sandro didn't even know the meaning of the word "Death Shadow," there lived pirates. The pirates had two secret lairs called "Mitinka" and "Gorbushka." They attacked trade caravans from the West and then sold the goods at inflated prices right in their lair. But suddenly, the pirates realized that if the goods were in Russian, they would sell even more. Centuries later, the royal archmages of Order invented the "localization" spell, which killed many pirates and burned their goods. But since the pirates were lazy and semi-literate, they translated the games into Russian in some unknown place. Well, it's known, but I don't want to mention the name of that organization. In those harsh times, it was almost impossible to get an ENGLISH version, and the "Russian versions" (in quotation marks) instilled fear in anyone who even vaguely followed the plot. It was then that I bought "Heroes 2: Price of Loyalty" from the pirates. Of course, it was in "Russian." In general, this is the funniest game translation I have ever seen. It was translated by who knows what and in what state. It's clear that it wasn't translated by just one "Stylus." There's an attempt to give the translation some literary quality. And, apparently, the "translators" attracted a couple of stoned punks or someone like that as experts. Below, I present the "translation" of the unit names. You can't look at it without tears. Hero Knight - Voevoda Peasant - Muzhik Archer - Soldier Ranger - Brodyaga Pikeman - Pikeyschik Veteran Pikeman - Stary Pikeyschik Swordsman - Mechenosets Master Swordsman - Boevoy Mechenosets Cavalry - Rytsar Champion - Naletchik Paladin - Tserkovnik Crusader - Voitel Hero Sorceress - Zhritsa Sprite - Dukh Dwarf - Korotyshka Battle Dwarf - Viking Elf - Leshiy Grand Elf - Korol Leshiy Druid - Monakh Greater Druid - Krutoy Monakh Unicorn - Nosorog Phoenix - Zharptitsa Hero Warlock - Zavoevatel Centaur - Tsentavr Gargoyle - Demon Griffin - Grif Minotaur - Byk Minotaur King - Moguchiy Byk Hydra - Gadyuka Green Dragon - Zeleny Drakon Red Dragon - Krovavy Drakon Black Dragon - Drakon Hero Barbarian - Vandal Goblin - Gremlin Orc - Ork Orc Chief - Ork Voin Wolf - Volchara Ogre - Ugr Ogre Lord - Blagorodny Ugr Troll - Trol War Troll - Trol Voyny Cyclops - Velikan Hero Wizard - Vedun Halfling - Poluling Boar - Svinya Iron Golem - Robot Steel Golem - Terminator Roc - Orel Mage - Mudrets Archmage - Vyshiy Koldun Giant - Zdorovyak Titan - Gromoverzhets Hero Necromancer - Alkhimik Skeleton - Skeleton Zombie - Trup Mutant Zombie - Uzhasny Trup Mummy - Mumiya Royal Mummy - Faraonskaya Mumiya Vampire - Krovopiytsa Vampire Lord - Drakula Lich - Upyr Power Lich - Nechist Bone Dragon - Kostyanoy Monster In general, I still enjoy this "translation." It's a pity that I can't convey HOW the plot of the campaigns is translated and HOW the names of the heroes are distorted.