Fun

Here are a couple of jokes from the Marked One: So, a young stalker is walking through the Zone. He sees a Grove, and as he approaches, his Geiger counter starts clicking... He sees another guy walking by. He approaches him and says: "Hey, I'd like to go around this Grove, and I see you're an experienced stalker..." "Sure, let's go..." So, they walk, and the young guy is kind of admiring the experienced stalker, thinking how easy it is for him, like he's walking through a park, and he doesn't even have a weapon... And the older guy asks, "Why do you need a weapon?" "Well, how else will I deal with the monsters? Even the Controllers are a threat!" The older guy turns to him and says angrily: "No, it's okay about zombies or vampires, but why call us Controllers monsters?" A new Russian guy comes to a familiar stalker and says: "Hey, brother, bring me an artifact... like a golden fish. All my buddies have one, and I don't, so I feel like a loser." The stalker replies: "But it's radioactive!" And the Russian guy says: "Radioactive, not radioactive, am I going to stuff it in my pants?" Two old stalkers are sitting by the river, chatting, and one says to the other: "It's all nonsense, there's no radiation! I've been a stalker in the Zone for 20 years, and I'm fine!" The other replies: "Yeah, that's true... but the fur on my fins started falling out prematurely." So, the Black Stalker appears in the Zone. He comes to the camp at night and walks around... sometimes he sticks his hand into a tent and says in a hoarse voice: "Wooooodaaaa! I want some wooooodaaaa!" And if you don't give it to him, or if you try to push him away, you're done for. And one day, at the camp, one guy decides to scare his friends. He silently crawls out of his tent, quietly approaches the neighboring tent, sticks his hand inside, and says in a hoarse voice: "Wooooodaaaa!" And a hand grabs him by the throat from inside the tent: "And what do *you* need my water for?" An old and a young "Duty" member are walking through the Zone, and the old one says to the young one: "Now, be quiet, let's go to that tree!" The young one tiptoes, crawls, then suddenly stops, stands by the tree, and waves his hands, as if asking, "What now?" And the old one shouts happily: "They're lying! They're lying, that there's an anomaly here!" There's a notice posted at the "Duty" base: "Tomorrow, at 9:00 AM, there will be an expedition into the Zone to hunt mutants and collect artifacts. All enthusiasts are welcome to meet at the entrance to the base. Bring 2 bottles each."