A THREAD FOR NEWCOMERS!

Hello, could you please tell me, as a first-time visitor here, if there are any players willing to battle a newbie online? I have the Platinum Edition. I have a feeling that it's unlikely, as everyone probably has "Wrath of the Gods" or something else, and I need to upgrade to something more current. P.S. Sorry for the rambling and confusion in the text; I'm not very good at writing. And what is "Jebus" or "Jeb"?