2. Regarding Mages/Druids, I said it before – if they are guarding a location, I personally (I'm not an expert in this game, so I won't claim to know what others do) won't attack them until I have a significant advantage.
3. You're right, it's very difficult to attack high-level creatures without losses on the first week. The Hive and Dire Elf, combined with swarms of Grays, are a good option. Winged creatures are usually used to prolong the game into the late game, so you don't necessarily need to attack dangerous neutral creatures; they won't go anywhere (they might even increase in number, which is actually a good thing, right?). If you're lucky and Ilfina is available in the tavern, you can take her too. Yesterday, just for fun, I tested it: my wife, who usually plays with only one Unicorn and Grays, easily cleared almost all of her territory (except for the various Mages) on the first week on a random map with patch 3.1 and strong creatures, which proves that it's possible to have a good start with other heroes besides Dire Elf.