What are you eating right now?

So, they're asking for ID?

So, I walk up, all bearded and with a cigarette in my mouth, to a kiosk where the local drunks hang out, and I say, "Give me half a liter of Zhigulevskoye," and the woman at the kiosk says, "But you're still a schoolboy!" I hand her my passport, and she says, "No, you're a schoolboy!" I take a drag, scratch my beard, and with horror realize that I have a BACKPACK on!