What are you listening to right now?

8 ways to drive a graphic designer crazy.
Roy Chris
As everyone knows, graphic designers are the reason there are so many wars in the world. They get into our heads through advertising, force us to spend money on real crap against our will, and ultimately plunge us into depression and provoke all sorts of acts of violence. And, of course, most of them are communists.
Therefore, to contribute to preserving peace on earth, I wrote this list of things you can do when working with a graphic designer to make him realize that he is burnt out and should quit this job FOREVER.
1-Microsoft Office
When you send a document to a graphic designer, make sure it's made in Microsoft Office, preferably on a PC. If you need to send photos, you will be more successful in driving him crazy if, instead of simply sending a JPEG or RAW, you insert the images into a Microsoft Office document, such as Word or PowerPoint. And don't forget to reduce the quality to 72 dpi so that he has to contact you again and ask for a higher quality photo. When you send a higher quality photo, make sure its size is at least 50% smaller than required. And if you are using email, forget to attach this file to the email.
2-Fonts
If the designer chose the Helvetica font, ask him to use Arial. If he chose Arial, ask for Comic Sans. Well, if he chose Comic Sans, he's already halfway crazy, and your job is half done.
3-Even better
Let's say you want to design a brochure. Graphic designers will always try to leave empty spaces in the entire brochure - large margins, leading (line spacing), kerning (letter spacing), etc. They will say that they do this to make the brochure easier to read, and that this leads to greater clarity and a more professional look. But don't believe this lie. The real reason they do this is to make the document larger, and you have to spend more money printing the brochure. You ask why they need it? Because graphic designers hate you. And they also eat babies - raw baby meat. So be sure to ask them to make the margins smaller and the text smaller - really small, and also suggest using a lot of different fonts (a big plus if Comic Sans, Arial, or Sand are among them). Ask them to use clip art, lots of pictures (if you don't know how to forward them, see item #1). They will try to argue and defend their choice, but don't worry, the client is always right in the end, and they will submit to your numerous requests.
4-Logo
If you need to send a logo to a graphic designer, make sure it's really small, low quality, and in gif or jpg format. Again, a plus if you insert it into a Word document. Now you think that would be enough, but if you really want to succeed in reducing the mental stability of graphic designers, do your best to send a version of the logo that is most difficult to cut out from the background. Black and white backgrounds should be avoided because it is easier to remove them in Photoshop. After the designer has done all the work on the raster logo you sent, tell him that you need it to be larger.
If you need to order a logo design, make your own sketches on a napkin. Even better, have your 9-year-old draw it. Don't spend more than 5 minutes on your drawing. Don't add details to it and don't make it easy to understand, because the less the designer understands what you want, the more you can make him redo and change things later. Never accept the first version of the logo, don't accept versions up to the 9th in a row, make him make a lot of changes, use a lot of colors, fonts. Ask him to add a picture to the logo, a 3D effect, gradients, the Comic Sans font. And when he makes his 10th version, say that you like the 2nd one the most. I know this is low, but remember: the graphic designer is the cause of breast cancer in middle-aged women.
5-Make up your own words
When describing what you want in the design, be sure to use terms that actually mean nothing. Phrases like "make it... lively" or "can you make it more web-style," "I'd like the design to be beautiful," "I prefer good graphics, graphics that you look at and understand: this is good graphics," and other options. And don't worry about it, because you have the right to do so. In fact, it is your duty, because we all know that on a full moon, all graphic designers turn into werewolves.
6-Colors
The best way to choose colors yourself (because you don't want to let the designer choose) is to write different colors on pieces of paper, put them in a hat, and draw a random option from there. The designer will suggest sticking to 2-3 main colors, but no, choose as many as you like and don't forget to demonstrate the hat operation to the designer. This will be like listening to a song you hate all day for him.
7-Deadlines
When it's your turn to approve the design, stall, it's not a rush, take a couple of days, then 6. Only then, when the deadline is approaching, send the designer more edits and corrections than he can do. After all, graphic designers are responsible for all the bandit attacks on earth.
8-Finish him off
After you apply this list to the victim, part of his human nature (although it has not yet been definitively established whether they are people or not) will become a little safer. When the graphic designer realizes that he cannot satisfy your requests, he will most likely give up hope of winning his arguments and will do everything you tell him without any questions. Do you want a pink color? - Please. Six different fonts? - Of course.
You think you've won at this point, but don't forget the goal of all this: he should quit designing. So be prepared for the final blow. When making a final decision about the color, shape, fonts, etc., tell him that you are disappointed in his lack of initiative, that he is, after all, a designer, and that he should have used his experience and talent in the work, and not you, that you expected more design advice from him.