Sacred Haven of Debauchery

Once, I was walking through the forest and saw a well. I approached it, entered an elevator, sat on a bicycle, started a motorcycle, and then, bam, a conductor approached me and said, "Auntie, give up your seat." And I said that I don't smoke. So this child started crying! But I didn't panic and gave him a punch in the face, and he grabbed his knee and shouted, "My back! My back!" And I thought, maybe he's crazy? I got out of this train, looked around, and saw a minibus. So I approached it and said, "Winston Blue and 0.5 liters of vodka." And she gave me Bond and beer, I took this stuff and moonshine, and ran away from these cops! Then these firefighters caught up with me in an ambulance! They caught up and said, "You forgot your change!" So I took a kilogram of apples and went to the market to trade! I brought them, managed to display these bananas, and an old woman ran up and bought all my peaches, and told me to put everything in a bag! And I thought, what is she, completely senile, how am I going to put 20 watermelons in a bag?! I took the money and went home! I haven't been to the forest since... and I haven't touched mushrooms.