death and destruction, degradation and entropy, the relentless winds of time.

Actually, Klov, if you go to the gym twice a week and follow a program created by a trainer, you'll see noticeable results in a month (that's 8 sessions in total). In 3 months, the results will be visible in the mirror, and after another six months, you'll start to see admiration and envy in the eyes of your acquaintances. Now is the most optimal time for you to start exercising; muscle mass will grow quickly and easily.
I'm giving this advice solely because I have nothing else to do, and I know you won't follow it.