death and destruction, degradation and entropy, the relentless winds of time.

Klov, here's the best advice I can give you: wait until you turn 18. If that doesn't help, wait until you're 20. If that still doesn't help, wait until you're 22. If things are still the same at 25, you can safely end your life – although that's not really my thing, but I think such a state of mind at 25 would indicate serious developmental delays.