Sacred Haven of Debauchery

Yes, I might complain about something and so on, but that doesn't stop me from being a cheerful optimist and a jokester, even if not a very good one.

Nope, you're just a whiner. Everyone knows that.

I would insert a facepalm picture, but I'm too lazy... I THINK YOU UNDERSTAND EVERYTHING YOURSELF.

I would quote it, put a smiley, and write "look how he came up with it because of his butthurt!", but YOU UNDERSTAND IT YOURSELF.
If your story is even remotely true, then it's your huge failure. You would then take a selfie and write "all women are sluts."