Sacred Haven of Debauchery

A month ago, I did something that should change my whole life. I decided to become a patriot. I did it for several reasons – I don't want to succumb to the power of liberals and "democrats," and I don't want to engage in the vile things that you all do here. I thought about it for a long time before making the decision. And I decided. I was ready to endure pain and suffering for the sake of my motherland. I polished the keyboard, stretched my fingers, and with a sharp click of the mouse, I sent a message to the forum. In that argument, they hurt me deeply. It was very painful, but I perceived this pain with reverence, as a sign of a new life, free from these vile things. My anus hurt a lot, but my mom had prepared everything – she gave me an enema and took me to the doctor. After a week, that is, now, I'm already back at the computer, and everything has healed normally. And imagine how good I feel now! I am truly loyal to Stalin! I felt an extraordinary lightness, a blissful joy of pure life. I was reborn. I am a patriot. And yet, I was just like you before I realized the heavy burden of sin that lay on my soul. And I decided. I decided and changed. Once and for all.