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Internet and computer jokes. Taken from the same site:
20. Two buddies meet, and one says to the other:
- What the heck? I'm downloading Windows from the internet, but when I install it, I get DOS.
- Do you have a modem with error correction?
- Yes...
- Well, that's why it's correcting them...
19. Two hackers meet. Just chatting, talking about life and all that... One happens to ask in passing:
- Who's your ISP?...
- The FSB...
- WHAT, THE FSB!!??
- Yeah, like, they planted bugs in our office, so I'm using them...
18. - "Naked nuns!"... "Look what she's doing in her cell!"... Mr. Designer!
Are you sure these are the exact banners our diocese ordered?!
17. The day Microsoft releases something that doesn't lag will be the day they start making cars.
16.- What do you do when you see a beautiful girl? - I download her.
15. Hardware is the part of the computer you can kick if the Software refuses to work.
14. A programmer caught a golden fish, and it says to him:
- Let me go, and I will grant you any wish!
- I want there to be peace throughout the whole world!
- Come on, be realistic.
- I want Windows to stop glitching!
- Peace throughout the whole world, you said?
13. On Yandex, typing "Spartak is CRAP!" yields 1,6254 requests.
It's nice to note that the famous club is still popular...
12. A QUESTION ON ARMENIAN RADIO!
- What do a woman and the internet have in common?
- Plenty of users, my dear!
11. Two programmers meet. One is on a great bike. The second asks:
- Where did you get such a cool bike?
- Imagine, I'm sitting on the beach yesterday, and this beautiful girl rides up to me on this very bike, takes off all her clothes and says: "Take whatever you want."
Well, I took the bike; why would I want her clothes?
10. All user Manuals are read with difficulty, and written through the ass.
9. To serve the most demanding clients, the well-known travel agency "Kuda.RU" (WhereTo.RU) has opened a new service - "Poshol.NA" (Get.LOST).
8. Player:
- Please remove two incorrect options.
Host:
- Now, dear computer - please remove two incorrect options!
Message on the monitors: "The program has performed an illegal operation and will be closed."
Host:
- At the request of Microsoft - a commercial break.
7. A programmer was walking down the street, and a brick fell in front of him.
- Tetris! - thought the programmer. :-)
6. A beta tester is like a junkie. Because his main job is to catch glitches.
5. HDD-woman. She remembers everything and always.
RAM-woman. She forgets you exist as soon as you kick her out.
Windows-woman. Everyone knows she can't really do anything, but they can't live without her.
Excel-woman. They say she can do a lot, but you mostly go to her for trifles.
Screensaver-woman. She can't do anything, but it's amusing.
Internet-woman. She's hard to get to know, and communicating is even harder - she's often busy.
Server-woman. Whenever she's needed, she's always busy.
Multimedia-woman. She can present everything in the best light, making a "candy" out of trash.
CD-ROM-woman. She is very picky; as a rule, she doesn't like the food you cooked for her yourself.
E-MAIL-woman. Out of ten of her phrases, eight are complete nonsense.
Virus-woman. Also known as "The Wife." She arrives when you're not expecting her and lies on your favorite couch without permission.
Of course, you can try to kick her out, but then she'll take something with her. If you leave her alone, you might lose everything.
4. The Tambov wolf is your ISP...
3. An old man went to the blue sea and started clicking the golden fish. "Error 404," replied the golden fish.
2. Windows was installed on a car's on-board computer. There's an old lady in front of the car - the computer displays a message: "Click accelerate to save image as a wallpaper!"
1. Windows: Are you sure you want to delete this file?
User: Yes!
Windows: But why?
20. Two buddies meet, and one says to the other:
- What the heck? I'm downloading Windows from the internet, but when I install it, I get DOS.
- Do you have a modem with error correction?
- Yes...
- Well, that's why it's correcting them...
19. Two hackers meet. Just chatting, talking about life and all that... One happens to ask in passing:
- Who's your ISP?...
- The FSB...
- WHAT, THE FSB!!??
- Yeah, like, they planted bugs in our office, so I'm using them...
18. - "Naked nuns!"... "Look what she's doing in her cell!"... Mr. Designer!
Are you sure these are the exact banners our diocese ordered?!
17. The day Microsoft releases something that doesn't lag will be the day they start making cars.
16.- What do you do when you see a beautiful girl? - I download her.
15. Hardware is the part of the computer you can kick if the Software refuses to work.
14. A programmer caught a golden fish, and it says to him:
- Let me go, and I will grant you any wish!
- I want there to be peace throughout the whole world!
- Come on, be realistic.
- I want Windows to stop glitching!
- Peace throughout the whole world, you said?
13. On Yandex, typing "Spartak is CRAP!" yields 1,6254 requests.
It's nice to note that the famous club is still popular...
12. A QUESTION ON ARMENIAN RADIO!
- What do a woman and the internet have in common?
- Plenty of users, my dear!
11. Two programmers meet. One is on a great bike. The second asks:
- Where did you get such a cool bike?
- Imagine, I'm sitting on the beach yesterday, and this beautiful girl rides up to me on this very bike, takes off all her clothes and says: "Take whatever you want."
Well, I took the bike; why would I want her clothes?
10. All user Manuals are read with difficulty, and written through the ass.
9. To serve the most demanding clients, the well-known travel agency "Kuda.RU" (WhereTo.RU) has opened a new service - "Poshol.NA" (Get.LOST).
8. Player:
- Please remove two incorrect options.
Host:
- Now, dear computer - please remove two incorrect options!
Message on the monitors: "The program has performed an illegal operation and will be closed."
Host:
- At the request of Microsoft - a commercial break.
7. A programmer was walking down the street, and a brick fell in front of him.
- Tetris! - thought the programmer. :-)
6. A beta tester is like a junkie. Because his main job is to catch glitches.
5. HDD-woman. She remembers everything and always.
RAM-woman. She forgets you exist as soon as you kick her out.
Windows-woman. Everyone knows she can't really do anything, but they can't live without her.
Excel-woman. They say she can do a lot, but you mostly go to her for trifles.
Screensaver-woman. She can't do anything, but it's amusing.
Internet-woman. She's hard to get to know, and communicating is even harder - she's often busy.
Server-woman. Whenever she's needed, she's always busy.
Multimedia-woman. She can present everything in the best light, making a "candy" out of trash.
CD-ROM-woman. She is very picky; as a rule, she doesn't like the food you cooked for her yourself.
E-MAIL-woman. Out of ten of her phrases, eight are complete nonsense.
Virus-woman. Also known as "The Wife." She arrives when you're not expecting her and lies on your favorite couch without permission.
Of course, you can try to kick her out, but then she'll take something with her. If you leave her alone, you might lose everything.
4. The Tambov wolf is your ISP...
3. An old man went to the blue sea and started clicking the golden fish. "Error 404," replied the golden fish.
2. Windows was installed on a car's on-board computer. There's an old lady in front of the car - the computer displays a message: "Click accelerate to save image as a wallpaper!"
1. Windows: Are you sure you want to delete this file?
User: Yes!
Windows: But why?
