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Mafia 19. Trojan War.

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Look at how intensely he's complaining at the monitor! It's as if he's contorted. It's strange – his rear end should be quite developed, just like any other democrat. In powerless rage, from his command post located near the latrine, he gazes upon the mightily towering Troy, which even the besieging war machines haven't deprived of its beauty and grandeur.
Just as the stones of the siege engines are shattered into dust against its fortified walls, so too will the strong anuses of the proud Trojans not accept the limp, short-barreled spears of the Greeks. And it was written by the prophet in the Book that the broken spectacles of the Greeks will absorb each two and a half meter long Trojan pike.