Sacred Haven of Debauchery

Guys like you only think about that, but I'll disappoint you. You have some stereotypical, low-brow thinking, probably picked it up at work...
It's strange that you always start talking about masturbation when girls are mentioned.

I'll disappoint you a bit. I don't think about it. I haven't met anyone "like me."
Masturbation was mentioned when you brought up "putting elven ears on" a girl. Well, you know what I mean.
As a Tolkien enthusiast (and not just that), it can't help but make me think, "Arandor is probably masturbating to that!" You can think about that.

By the way, why did you write all this?

You have some stereotypical, low-brow thinking, probably picked it up at work...
It's strange that you always start talking about masturbation when girls are mentioned.

When did I "always" start talking about masturbation?