Sacred Haven of Debauchery

Right now, I'm keeping a flame alive in a small burner on the stove, using it to light a candle, which I then use to light the other burners, but I need a more stable solution. What should I do???

That's a very interesting question, one that's international and global in scope.
There are a few options:
1) Overcome your laziness, get dressed, and take a walk to the store.
2) You could also just leave the burners on!
3) You could find a couple of fairly dense materials, like flint and something else, and strike a spark when needed.