Nowizard
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About our Mother Russia!
Ilya Muromets goes to the Russian-Chinese border and shouts:
- A thousand Chinese, come and fight!
A thousand Chinese come out, and they go behind the mountain... fifteen minutes later, Ilya Muromets returns and shouts again:
- A thousand Chinese, come and fight!
A new thousand Chinese come out, and they go behind the mountain. Another fifteen minutes later, Ilya comes out again and shouts again:
- A thousand Chinese, come and fight!
A third thousand Chinese come out. Suddenly, a surviving Chinese soldier crawls out from behind the mountain and shouts to his comrades:
- Don't believe him! There are two more of them!!!
Dobrynya Nikitich rides along the road and comes across a magic stone, and there is an inscription on the stone: "If you go left, you will lose your horse, if you go right, you will lose your life, if you go straight, you will be FUCKED!". Dobrynya became curious, and he went straight. He rode and rode and came across a desert. He rode on. He rode for three days: no food, no water, nothing. His strength began to fail. Suddenly, he sees: an oasis. Dobrynya rode to the oasis, and there, a three-headed dragon was sleeping. Well, Dobrynya took out his sword and started fighting him. They fought for two days, and neither could gain the upper hand. And then, the three-headed dragon asked:
- Why are you fighting me?
- Well, I... I want to drink...
- ARE YOU CRAZY?!! Drink! Who's stopping you!!
Another one in the same vein:
Alesha Popovich rode up to the magic stone, and there was an inscription on the stone: "If you go left, you will get hit in the face, if you go right, you will get hit in the face, if you go straight, you will get hit in the face." Alesha thinks, and a voice from the bushes:
- Think faster, or you'll get hit in the face!
Ilya Muromets goes to the Russian-Chinese border and shouts:
- A thousand Chinese, come and fight!
A thousand Chinese come out, and they go behind the mountain... fifteen minutes later, Ilya Muromets returns and shouts again:
- A thousand Chinese, come and fight!
A new thousand Chinese come out, and they go behind the mountain. Another fifteen minutes later, Ilya comes out again and shouts again:
- A thousand Chinese, come and fight!
A third thousand Chinese come out. Suddenly, a surviving Chinese soldier crawls out from behind the mountain and shouts to his comrades:
- Don't believe him! There are two more of them!!!
Dobrynya Nikitich rides along the road and comes across a magic stone, and there is an inscription on the stone: "If you go left, you will lose your horse, if you go right, you will lose your life, if you go straight, you will be FUCKED!". Dobrynya became curious, and he went straight. He rode and rode and came across a desert. He rode on. He rode for three days: no food, no water, nothing. His strength began to fail. Suddenly, he sees: an oasis. Dobrynya rode to the oasis, and there, a three-headed dragon was sleeping. Well, Dobrynya took out his sword and started fighting him. They fought for two days, and neither could gain the upper hand. And then, the three-headed dragon asked:
- Why are you fighting me?
- Well, I... I want to drink...
- ARE YOU CRAZY?!! Drink! Who's stopping you!!
Another one in the same vein:
Alesha Popovich rode up to the magic stone, and there was an inscription on the stone: "If you go left, you will get hit in the face, if you go right, you will get hit in the face, if you go straight, you will get hit in the face." Alesha thinks, and a voice from the bushes:
- Think faster, or you'll get hit in the face!
Бог есть любовь
