Why don’t you participate in the portal’s tournaments?

Once upon a time, I really loved one game. I played it alone, against the computer, as I knew how and as I liked. Without caring or knowing how others play it. One day, I wanted to try what it's like to play against real opponents. I found a server, played a few games, and left, not wanting to spend any more time on THIS. Since then, I haven't participated in any tournaments, gaming meetups, etc. Not because I'm a noob (although that's also a factor, but not the main one), but simply because the overly schematic process isn't interesting to me – starting with a specific hero, building something specific on the 2nd day, and definitely conquering a nearby Castle by the 3rd week... In short, this memorization, without which you can't compete with others, kills the desire. The interest in such a game disappears; you no longer perceive it as an aesthetic pleasure but as a meat grinder with polished tactics. And I like to play however I want – simply, slowly, accumulating units, forgetting to build mages... And if a game doesn't bring pleasure, then why play it?