Varg-Nar
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"My Computer" Talk Show.
Author currently unknown
Host. Good day to you all! You are watching the "My Computer" talk show. Today we will discuss a problem that has become increasingly acute in our country in recent years. A problem that is destroying the lives of many people, primarily young people. The name of this problem is licensed software. Please welcome our guest.
To the sound of the Windows startup music, the guest enters—a pale guy with bags under his eyes.
Host. Is it true that you use licensed software?
Guest. Yes, for about two years now.
Tell us, how did you first try licensed software?
Well, like, my girlfriend got me into it. She worked at a Microsoft regional office back then, and she talked me into trying it.
And you agreed? Were you not aware of the consequences?
Well, like, she said nothing would happen from one time. You can always quit later. And I thought to myself, do I lack willpower? At first, I didn't even like it much. You know, those unfixed bugs, a feeling of bewilderment and emptiness in the pocket...
Nevertheless, you tried again...
I wanted to understand what people find in it.
And did you?
You know, it's impossible to explain to those who haven't tried it.
Please, no proselytizing; we are on live air. So, you got hooked...
Well, like, uh-huh.
Did your friends try to stop you?
They turned their backs on me when they found out... To hell with them. I have new friends now, also, like, licensed users.
And do your parents know that you are a user of licensed software?
Like, of course. I constantly need money to buy new versions. Because of this, there are eternal arguments; my father screams that I'm a disgrace to the family...
And are you still dating that girl?
No. She took a course in Linux-therapy and said she wanted to start a new life where, like, nothing would remind her of the past.
And did you try to get treatment yourself?
I tried, but what's the point? Whenever I see a holographic sticker...
Do you experience withdrawals?
Yes, my computer has crashed several times already because of buggy releases. But what can you do? It's even stated in the license agreement—supplied AS IS, no warranty...
But do you want to quit?
I used to, but now I think—well, like... many people in the West live this way...
Well then, let's hear the opinions of our viewers.
(Assistants with microphones go around the hall).
Middle-aged woman. It's because of people like you that our domestic hackers are out of work! And they have wives and children, by the way! And some even have husbands!
Old man. You should be ashamed, young man! In my youth, I worked on an IBM-360, and we hadn't even heard a whisper about licensed software! Nowadays it's fashionable to criticize the past. Yes, of course, there were mistakes. But what youth we had! There was romance, passion, an idea! Not like this software—even hardware was copied piratically! Could we have even imagined selling ourselves to Bill Gates for a bright box!
Young woman. I would never date a guy who uses licensed software. They can't do anything. Neither crack protection nor enter a code. Everything is always hanging on them. All they are capable of is being on the phone... with Technical Support... (The guest blushes.)
Woman. Why are you all ganging up on the guy? He needs help, not scolding... Of course, he's already at a stage where it's impossible to return immediately to normal pirate software. But for starters, one could try moving him to freeware. Then shareware, and gradually increase the period without registration...
Old woman. I don't know about licensed software, but I want to say that there has been no dedicated line in our building for three months, we have to run to the neighbors for dial-up, and the housing office... (with combined efforts, the microphone is taken away from the old woman)
So, as we can see, the audience does not support our guest's addiction. Now let's hear from our expert psychologist.
Psychologist. Unfortunately, many people today do not take this problem seriously enough. They refer to the experience of the West, specifically the Netherlands. But in the West itself, many are sounding the alarm, concerned by the decline in computer literacy. Who among you has heard of Dutch hackers? In reality, an addiction to licensed software is a severe pathology capable of destroying a person's entire life. At first, it seems to them that they can return to a normal life at any moment. But they increasingly feel the need for new licensed versions and can no longer stop. They spend all their money on this. Their social circle is disrupted, physical impairments arise—the patient forgets the addresses of hacker sites, they feel nauseous at the sight of pirate software... Complex psychological disorders emerge; in particular, an obsessive idea to pay even for freeware software may develop. As a rule, licensed software users are people who lack independence, are suggestible, and have a hidden inferiority complex. They want to stand out from the crowd or, conversely, not fall behind their peers; they fear reality and seek illusory protection from Technical Support. This is where that same hope of buying one's way out of a problem instead of solving it manifests—the same hope that drove our primitive ancestors to make sacrifices to spirits. Although there are many who try simply out of curiosity, having listened to dealer propaganda about the supposed bug-free nature of licensed software. Let us not forget that behind licensed software stands a business with turnovers in the billions of dollars, deeply interested in drawing more and more users into this pernicious addiction.
Well then, we thank our expert and hope that all is not lost for our guest.
See you online.
___________________
I don't know about you but I liked it... I personally love using only licensed...
Added after 5 minutes
Real men run Windows
Author currently unknown
Real men are not afraid of the unknown. It's easy not to be afraid of Unix—everything is clear there anyway. It's much harder not to be afraid of Windows, knowing that it can throw something unpredictable at you. That's why real men install Windows even on critical servers. They know no fear.
Real men are not lazy. Almost all Unixoids are lazy—it's easier for them to spend ten minutes writing a script to automate their work. Real men under Windows easily spend hours doing the same thing manually. They are not lazy.
Real men do not engage in arguments. Unixoids have already annoyed everyone with their discussions about which distribution to install where, and whether Solaris or Linux is better for this task. Windows is like the party's general line—there is only one, even if it has several faces. And it develops as one organization wants. Real men like this; it's like in the army. Real men are for a command system.
Real men do not need conveniences. They listen with a smile to Unixoids arguing about what problems the Windows graphical interface has, why it doesn't satisfy a single requirement placed on an interface, and how pathetic their command line is. They know all this themselves; they simply believe it is beneath a man to care so much about convenience. Real men can sleep on a bare floor, let alone a colorful velvet bed, even if it's placed vertically.
Real men do not think about money. They will easily pay thousands of dollars for software on their computer, knowing they could get the same functionality for free. They don't need that, because counting money is pettiness.
Real men do not need remote work. If they have to, they can come to the server room in the middle of the night to launch the software they need or see what's happening. After all, they are real men.
Real men stoically endure trials. They know that different versions of MS Office are incompatible with each other, but they aren't afraid to re-layout a five-hundred-page document if necessary. Or that old software will stop running when moving to a new OS. In essence, it's not that important to them. They won't whine; they'll just spend a few days on the re-layout or rewrite the software—that's all. They are real men.
Real men are thorough. They understand the need to reboot the system after installing every program, and in general, for a real man, it is no problem to reboot the machine once every two or three days. It is not difficult for him to periodically clean up the trash on the hard drive and in the registry, and he doesn't start empty arguing on the Net when something else breaks while installing something. He does not consider this abnormal or unnatural. He simply grits his teeth and solves the problem.
A real man doesn't grimace when it turns out that a new version requires three times more memory and runs twice as slowly. He simply takes the money set aside for vacation, goes, and buys a new computer. Real men do not need vacations.
Real men need neither ease, nor convenience, nor reliability. They need struggle.
And there is only one conclusion from all this. Only whiners and weaklings run Unix. Real men who run Windows are despised for it...
This isn't any kind of proselytizing, just funny....:D
Author currently unknown
Host. Good day to you all! You are watching the "My Computer" talk show. Today we will discuss a problem that has become increasingly acute in our country in recent years. A problem that is destroying the lives of many people, primarily young people. The name of this problem is licensed software. Please welcome our guest.
To the sound of the Windows startup music, the guest enters—a pale guy with bags under his eyes.
Host. Is it true that you use licensed software?
Guest. Yes, for about two years now.
Tell us, how did you first try licensed software?
Well, like, my girlfriend got me into it. She worked at a Microsoft regional office back then, and she talked me into trying it.
And you agreed? Were you not aware of the consequences?
Well, like, she said nothing would happen from one time. You can always quit later. And I thought to myself, do I lack willpower? At first, I didn't even like it much. You know, those unfixed bugs, a feeling of bewilderment and emptiness in the pocket...
Nevertheless, you tried again...
I wanted to understand what people find in it.
And did you?
You know, it's impossible to explain to those who haven't tried it.
Please, no proselytizing; we are on live air. So, you got hooked...
Well, like, uh-huh.
Did your friends try to stop you?
They turned their backs on me when they found out... To hell with them. I have new friends now, also, like, licensed users.
And do your parents know that you are a user of licensed software?
Like, of course. I constantly need money to buy new versions. Because of this, there are eternal arguments; my father screams that I'm a disgrace to the family...
And are you still dating that girl?
No. She took a course in Linux-therapy and said she wanted to start a new life where, like, nothing would remind her of the past.
And did you try to get treatment yourself?
I tried, but what's the point? Whenever I see a holographic sticker...
Do you experience withdrawals?
Yes, my computer has crashed several times already because of buggy releases. But what can you do? It's even stated in the license agreement—supplied AS IS, no warranty...
But do you want to quit?
I used to, but now I think—well, like... many people in the West live this way...
Well then, let's hear the opinions of our viewers.
(Assistants with microphones go around the hall).
Middle-aged woman. It's because of people like you that our domestic hackers are out of work! And they have wives and children, by the way! And some even have husbands!
Old man. You should be ashamed, young man! In my youth, I worked on an IBM-360, and we hadn't even heard a whisper about licensed software! Nowadays it's fashionable to criticize the past. Yes, of course, there were mistakes. But what youth we had! There was romance, passion, an idea! Not like this software—even hardware was copied piratically! Could we have even imagined selling ourselves to Bill Gates for a bright box!
Young woman. I would never date a guy who uses licensed software. They can't do anything. Neither crack protection nor enter a code. Everything is always hanging on them. All they are capable of is being on the phone... with Technical Support... (The guest blushes.)
Woman. Why are you all ganging up on the guy? He needs help, not scolding... Of course, he's already at a stage where it's impossible to return immediately to normal pirate software. But for starters, one could try moving him to freeware. Then shareware, and gradually increase the period without registration...
Old woman. I don't know about licensed software, but I want to say that there has been no dedicated line in our building for three months, we have to run to the neighbors for dial-up, and the housing office... (with combined efforts, the microphone is taken away from the old woman)
So, as we can see, the audience does not support our guest's addiction. Now let's hear from our expert psychologist.
Psychologist. Unfortunately, many people today do not take this problem seriously enough. They refer to the experience of the West, specifically the Netherlands. But in the West itself, many are sounding the alarm, concerned by the decline in computer literacy. Who among you has heard of Dutch hackers? In reality, an addiction to licensed software is a severe pathology capable of destroying a person's entire life. At first, it seems to them that they can return to a normal life at any moment. But they increasingly feel the need for new licensed versions and can no longer stop. They spend all their money on this. Their social circle is disrupted, physical impairments arise—the patient forgets the addresses of hacker sites, they feel nauseous at the sight of pirate software... Complex psychological disorders emerge; in particular, an obsessive idea to pay even for freeware software may develop. As a rule, licensed software users are people who lack independence, are suggestible, and have a hidden inferiority complex. They want to stand out from the crowd or, conversely, not fall behind their peers; they fear reality and seek illusory protection from Technical Support. This is where that same hope of buying one's way out of a problem instead of solving it manifests—the same hope that drove our primitive ancestors to make sacrifices to spirits. Although there are many who try simply out of curiosity, having listened to dealer propaganda about the supposed bug-free nature of licensed software. Let us not forget that behind licensed software stands a business with turnovers in the billions of dollars, deeply interested in drawing more and more users into this pernicious addiction.
Well then, we thank our expert and hope that all is not lost for our guest.
See you online.
___________________
I don't know about you but I liked it... I personally love using only licensed...
Added after 5 minutes
Real men run Windows
Author currently unknown
Real men are not afraid of the unknown. It's easy not to be afraid of Unix—everything is clear there anyway. It's much harder not to be afraid of Windows, knowing that it can throw something unpredictable at you. That's why real men install Windows even on critical servers. They know no fear.
Real men are not lazy. Almost all Unixoids are lazy—it's easier for them to spend ten minutes writing a script to automate their work. Real men under Windows easily spend hours doing the same thing manually. They are not lazy.
Real men do not engage in arguments. Unixoids have already annoyed everyone with their discussions about which distribution to install where, and whether Solaris or Linux is better for this task. Windows is like the party's general line—there is only one, even if it has several faces. And it develops as one organization wants. Real men like this; it's like in the army. Real men are for a command system.
Real men do not need conveniences. They listen with a smile to Unixoids arguing about what problems the Windows graphical interface has, why it doesn't satisfy a single requirement placed on an interface, and how pathetic their command line is. They know all this themselves; they simply believe it is beneath a man to care so much about convenience. Real men can sleep on a bare floor, let alone a colorful velvet bed, even if it's placed vertically.
Real men do not think about money. They will easily pay thousands of dollars for software on their computer, knowing they could get the same functionality for free. They don't need that, because counting money is pettiness.
Real men do not need remote work. If they have to, they can come to the server room in the middle of the night to launch the software they need or see what's happening. After all, they are real men.
Real men stoically endure trials. They know that different versions of MS Office are incompatible with each other, but they aren't afraid to re-layout a five-hundred-page document if necessary. Or that old software will stop running when moving to a new OS. In essence, it's not that important to them. They won't whine; they'll just spend a few days on the re-layout or rewrite the software—that's all. They are real men.
Real men are thorough. They understand the need to reboot the system after installing every program, and in general, for a real man, it is no problem to reboot the machine once every two or three days. It is not difficult for him to periodically clean up the trash on the hard drive and in the registry, and he doesn't start empty arguing on the Net when something else breaks while installing something. He does not consider this abnormal or unnatural. He simply grits his teeth and solves the problem.
A real man doesn't grimace when it turns out that a new version requires three times more memory and runs twice as slowly. He simply takes the money set aside for vacation, goes, and buys a new computer. Real men do not need vacations.
Real men need neither ease, nor convenience, nor reliability. They need struggle.
And there is only one conclusion from all this. Only whiners and weaklings run Unix. Real men who run Windows are despised for it...
This isn't any kind of proselytizing, just funny....:D
Делай вещи, дела-делай вещи и не залипай!8)