Fun

>1. A woman never takes off her t-shirt, grabbing it on her back.
>2. Women do not scratch the back of their heads. Firstly, they do not like to demonstrate their
>confusion; secondly, it ruins the hairstyle.
>3. A woman often winds strands of hair, even short ones, around her finger or
>tickles her cheek with a lock of hair. Men rarely do this.
>4. A woman will never truly understand why football players, forming a wall,
>make such a funny mound with their palms. Therefore, she doesn't flinch
>when a hero in a movie takes a boot to the groin.
>5. A woman does not bite a cigarette with her teeth. She does not leave it in her mouth, but
>always holds it in her hand.
>6. When yawning, a woman covers her mouth with her palm, not her fist.
>7. After taking a bath, a woman—regardless of whether she has long hair, a short cut, or
>has recovered from typhus—will inevitably wrap a homemade
>imitation of a turban from a towel around her head, if only for a minute. The reasons for this
>Oriental ritual are unknown.
>8. A woman is hardly irritated when underwear gets stuck between
>the buttocks. The fair sex gladly wears all these torture
>devices called "bikinis." Furthermore, a woman usually does not
>try to discreetly adjust her underwear from behind by standing up from a
>chair.
>9. When winding up to throw something, a woman moves her arm not to the side, but backward.
>That is precisely why ladies are never sent to blow up tanks.
>10. Women like those torn brooms that create so much debris. They
>call them "dried flower compositions."
>11. When shaking hands, a woman barely squeezes it. Regarding the female
>handshake, the poet Voloshin said that it resembles "the tossing of a dead
>infant."
>12. Turning at a call, a woman usually turns only her head. A man
>turns his torso as well, since his neck is far less flexible.
>13. Women are afraid of spiders, worms, and mice. They also dislike caterpillars,
>even very beautiful ones.
>14. The overwhelming majority of women believe that washing with soap and water
>is harmful (To see what exactly they wash with—look in the bathroom).
>15. During sex, a woman thinks about whether she looks beautiful.
>16. When asked to show their hands, men honestly extend open
palms.
>Women extend their hands palms down, apparently to
>demonstrate a flawless manicure and the size of the diamonds.
>17. The words a woman utters after hitting her finger with a hammer could be aired without
>censorship on "Goodnight, Little Ones..." What a man says
>in such cases cannot be broadcast.
>18. Women open beer bottles with beer bottle openers.
>19. Women predominantly have a thoracic type of breathing. In men, the abdominal
>muscles are actively involved in the breathing process.
>20. Women do not like it when their hands are free. Therefore, they always carry a
>handbag—to fidget with its strap, hold its edge, and
>endlessly rummage through it. In the absence of a handbag, anything will do—
>a fan, gloves, a book, a flower.
>21. When ascending or descending a mountain, women try to go sideways. Men
>simply set their legs wider apart.
>22. Women prefer to examine their heels by turning around behind their backs.
>Men simply rotate the lifted foot.
>23. Women have a fairly indifferent, detached attitude toward their genitals; they are
>almost strangers to one another. Women do not converse with them,
do not
>give them playful nicknames, and do not get offended by them.
>24. A woman walks on tiptoes over scorching pebbles or sand. A man
>steps only on his heels.
>25. When sitting, women press their knees together or simply keep them parallel.
Therefore,
>having a lady as a neighbor in public transport is preferable.
>26. When stretching, men spread or raise their arms, while women bend
>them at the elbows, pressing them to their sides.
>27. The drive for compromise inherent in the female sex is evident in how
they
>tell dirty jokes. They may decide to tell even the lewdest joke in public.
>But they will mutter the keyword so indistinctly that
>no one will understand anything.
> Even more often, they try to convey the indecent nuance through facial expressions, gestures,
>and a desperate look on their face.
>28. Women tie the belt of a bathrobe above the navel, while men tie it below.
>29. If a woman's fly comes undone in the street, she will treat this circumstance
>quite indifferently and calmly zip up her trousers.
>30. Women plug their ears with fingers, while men use their palms.
>31. When you ask a woman to pass you a lighter, she passes you
>the lighter, rather than testing your jumpiness and reaction.
>32. If, from the women's point of view, man has progressed very little in the process
of evolution
>from the monkey, then we, for our part, can also note some
>atavisms inherited by our ladies from four-armed ancestors.
>For example, spending hours searching for insects in the fur of
>their male. In the absence of small arthropods, women
>satisfy themselves with moles and pimples.
>33. When dressing, a woman puts on her shirt first, then her trousers. Men usually
>do the opposite.
>34. A woman puts on gloves before going outside.
>35. When lifting a heavy object, a woman will try to shift it to the side.
>A man carries the load in front of him.
>36. Women prefer to keep coins and large bills in the same
>place. Their pockets rarely jingle.
>37. When punching, a woman puts her thumb forward.
>38. When women sit, they have a habit of tucking a leg under themselves and
>pressing the heel into the groin. Men do not allow themselves to do this.
>39. To wring out wet laundry by hand, a woman takes hold of it palms
>up, a man—palms down.
>40. And one more thing: after sex, a woman wants not to sleep, but to talk and kiss.