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if I had been near my castle, I would have gone inside and died there, as befits a hero! But I was far away, and my way back led through the lands you roamed! If I had gone home (right under your nose), I would have destroyed myself, my army, and my people, along with their hope for salvation. But as it is, I at least saved my army, and with it, the hope for the salvation of my people! I could then try to liberate my city and its inhabitants.