Fun

Cool:). Here's another one: Paratroopers are boarding a plane. One of them, before takeoff, asks the instructor: - Tell me, what happens if the parachute doesn't open? - You open the reserve parachute. - And if that one doesn't open either? I mean, how long will I fall? - For the rest of your life... Body parts. Eyes: See a beer stand. Brain: Legs, turn. Legs: But our shoelace is untied. Mouth: I'll take a couple, please. Eyes: The beer is cloudy, it's awful. Brain: It's okay, the stomach will sort it out. Rectum: Aha, you'll be sorting it out through me again. Brain: You're used to it. Stomach: Oh, it's so good. Mouth: Another couple. Hands: No way, we're broke. Brain: I'm enjoying this. Bladder: That's how it always is, the higher-ups are enjoying it, and the lower ones are working hard. Stomach: I want to sing. Mouth: I'll sing for you. Kidneys: (take a deep breath) Bladder: Oh, I can't. Brain: Hey, legs, help the bladder. Right leg: Up, down. Left leg: Up, down. Legs: Damn, the shoelace is untied. Brain: Torso, bend over. Vestibular apparatus: I'm shutting down. Stomach: I'm still going to sing. Bladder: Either now or never. Brain: I understand you, legs. Legs: But our shoelace is untied. Brain: I told you, turn the corner! Vestibular apparatus: There were good times... Eyes: Which corner? Brain: The nearest one. Right eye: To the right. Left eye: To the left. Legs: And we stepped on the shoelace. Bump on the forehead: Hello, guys! Bladder: Faster! Legs: One, two, one, two... Bladder: Ugh! Mouth: Another couple. Bump on the forehead: That's right, I want a little brother. Brain: Shut up, you brainless bruise! Bump: I'm a hematoma, you're the bruise. Kidneys: I'm tired, I'm shutting down. Right eye: Oh, there's a girl walking! Left: Where? Spine: I can feel it with my spinal cord - she's a blonde. Eyes: There's a pole ahead!! Head: Boom! Eyes: Oh, what pretty stars... Brain: I see it myself, I'm taking control. Spine: 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, here we go! Mouth: Earth in the window... - Stop! I'm going to shoot! - I'm standing still. - I'm shooting! - Mom, why did the stork bring my brother, but they found me in a cabbage? - Well... the stork didn't manage to deliver you! New haircut. Female version - Oh! You cut your hair... got a haircut? How cute! - Do you really think so? I was shocked when I saw myself in the mirror right after the haircut. Listen, do you think it's too short? Too flashy? - Oh my god, of course not! The haircut is just gorgeous! So stylish, fluffy. I'd happily cut all my hair off, but I can't - my face is too wide. I'm too self-conscious about it. - Are you serious? You have a wonderful face! It's perfect for haircuts! I think you should definitely get a haircut. Short strands of different lengths are so trendy now! I was going to get one myself... but I stopped myself in time. My neck is already long, and with a haircut, it would be a disaster. - Well, you're something! Long!? I've always dreamed of having a neck like that! It would distract from my terrible square shoulders! - Are you kidding? Everyone envies your shoulders! Any dress, any outfit looks amazing on you! You have a figure like a supermodel! And look at me: sloping shoulders, short arms... Ugh, if I had a figure like that, I'd wear anything... - What figure are you talking about? Look at my hips... Male version: - Got a haircut? - Yeah.