FireToSky (blue, Castle, Valya, Valya) def KостяN (red, Tundra, Nella, Moner), 2sm4d(3), 145

Yes.

Thanks for the game!

You're welcome!:)

And here's the report...:D

Moner, the Finnish prince (a drama in 4 acts).

Dramatis personae:

Nella – queen of the Finns, mother of Moner (a very thick-skinned and very blue woman).

Moner(aka Monya) – Finland's hope, son of Nella (a rare boor, but quite charming).

Iona – a distant relative, always getting underfoot.

Gelar – Mony's bookworm brother (seems to be an artist, as he appears with a bow tie and always loaded with cash).

Coronius – just a Centaur.

Riza – the local moonshiner.

Valka – a sorry sight ( for the unfffortunate Finns).

The Red Finns – extras in the form of local party activists.

The Blue People – Valka's very Russian retinue.

Act No.1. Scene No.1.

Nella (smoking on the porch). The land of Suomi is buried in snow,
And the treasury is running out of dough,
And the peace treaty with the Russians
Expired who knows when...

Iona (cadging a cigarette). Trou-uble!.....

Coronius (crawling out of the tavern). My Centaurs, having been to the tavern,
Are ready to go fight and collect taxes!
And I am ready, but my legs aren't ready...

Nella. …And Monya, as luck would have it, has disappeared...

Moner (appearing in the company of a night butterfly). But Mom, I've been fasting and praying!
And with fresh strength I am ready,
If not for Labor and Defense, then for ATTACK!

Iona (thoughtfully). But a sober gremlin isn't inclined to fight.

Moner. I'll cover the feast! I'm paying!
Aah, no-oo – let my brother the nerd Gelka better
Open his bottomless wallet.
(I've gone a bit bankrupt on handouts!..)
And with the guys as blue as the sky
We'll march out – they'll all fall before us!

(Everyone applauds Finland's Hope, except for Nella who spits skeptically).

Scene No.2.

Nella. I had to go into our family crypt myself,
Smash coffins... What 'poor Yorick'?!?
Here: poor Centaur, and poor Centaur, and poor Centaur –
Three of them fell, and tears – a whole sea!
They took the cherry bow, the telescope –
Hell!! there's a war on, and here – toys!
Then a whole bunch of blue-skinned b-ladies
Left only little horn-ears from the cover.

Moner. But we captured four beards!
Hey, Riza, pour some more from the cauldron!

Coronius. Allow me, so to speak, to report:
The road has 'breathed its last' -
It ran into three unheard-of contraptions,
Rusty Dragons, and although we're short
On ore, I think 'to hell with it' -
They wouldn't accept them for scrap anyway...

Moner. And why not?? Or maybe, go straight through?..

(Nella twirls her finger at her temple).

Scene No.3.

Gelar. I had an incident today:
They wouldn't let me into the conservatory to study!
There was a storm, a thunderstorm, and I, well, I...
I've been afraid of thunderstorms since childhood – can't help it...

Moner. You're a loser, bro – this is our chance!
What's needed here is a machine gun, not a curtsy!!!

Nella. Cool it, Monya: you're behind the wheel.
Better watch the bumpy dirt road.
We'll save up more troops, pour everyone a drink –
And we'll mow them all down with one rifle for all.

Moner. And that rotten tree – do you also
Order me to put up with it in my own country?!
It's written all over its guards' mugs...

Nella (sharply). Don't you dare! Don't you dare! Don't you daaare!!!

Riza. Newest brew ready: 'Black Death'!

(Everyone curiously peers into her cauldron and 'partakes' ).

Scene No.4.

Nella. So, let me sum up the week:
It's disappointing – we're up the creek!

Iona. Oh, that's putting it mildly! We're in the deep end. In the DEEP END!!
And we'll never get to the Dragon Utopias in this lifetime!

Moner. There are Nagas in the fort – what do you want, I don't get it?
Scouting did a great job,
We raided the neutrals,
Most victoriously through our own respawn...

Nella (interrupts). Shut up, son! Can't you see – we're grieving:
Problems in development are like a cloud, or a sea!..
No towns, except the capital;
And no money in sight... absolutely none,
Though we built a currency exchange booth
And exchanged everything in a hurry there...

Moner(yawning>. Your finances don't excite me!..
I'd rather have a Dragon Utopia, or even a treasure zone...

Nella. Oh, hush, son, or I'll cut you!

Act No.2. Scene No.1.
Moner (angrily). Ma, this isn't even funny!
A ship that fears the rocks is bad!
To capture a 'Temple of Music' from raging storms
And then be scared, of what? Violin scrolls??

Nella. Who are you talking back to, you brat, you snot-nose?!
Cross yourself! Drink about 200 grams of brine!
Your 'ship' won't even squeak 'SOS!',
When you try tipping the scales in their orchestra!
They'll ruin the new – 'brand spanking'! – caps,
And what will you fight with, just think...

Moner. With Nagas, Mom, exclusively with Nagas,
I'll buy 4, anything less is too petty!..

Iona. I'll soon go 'nuts' with you lot:
2 legs is normal, 4 is a 'squirrel'!!

Scene No.2.

Moner. So, what is it, my faithful brew-scooper,
Riiiza, what do you have to say this time?
The Preserve the devils left for us,
Is it fatty and edible for us?

Riza (cynically). Oh, suuure!

Moner (getting irritated). Oh yeah?! Take this!!!

(Everyone, including the extras, silently beat up Riza, including with Nagas).

Scene No.3.

Nella. 1,2,7. Good job, son –
You resisted the foolish temptations
To throw away the army – and you could haaave!..
Though it wasn't without deviations
From the Finnish tactic 'The slower – the better!'
Dwarf Cottage-20 – what was the point of that?
They teach kids about that in 1st grade!
The main thing is not to throw away! Or are you a megabison?

Moner. Yep! That's me, that's me!..
And you forgot about the Medusa Cottage too, Mom.
I can't keep silent any longer!
Are you a queen, a prince's mother,
Or a mare??
How long will you hold back my
Military thought's bold impulses?
Better just pour me some for courage –
I'll go surrender, jumping off a cliff!
I'm sick of your crypts at 2,
ГО – a total taboo, Dragon Utopias
In the 3rd month – and, like, I'm a hero
For sitting out the entire 1st month as if in a trench!
'Preserve? Don't open!!!' – Is it poison or what?
I won't even mention treasure zones, Naga banks!..
It'd be better if you fired me from the prince's post
And figured things out yourself as a mom!
She'll cry, she'll surely cry yet,
My dear 'motorized infantry'...
But I'm tired of crawling like a worm –
I want to fly, you know!

(Everyone cries, moved by the speech of Finland's Hope, except for the thick-skinned Nella – she, the bitch, doesn't change her expression)

Intermission (to be continued... )

Sorry, the '2nd volume of Dead Souls' was, like, burned:o ...