Fun

Hmm, Lock, did you know that there's also something like this, made back in the early 2000s?

Purpose, operating conditions, and technical specifications of the product
Toilet paper (item No. 11315509651), hereinafter referred to as the PRODUCT, is intended for removing residual fecal matter from the outer edge of the anal opening, adjacent skin areas, and locally concentrated hair on this area of the body (hereinafter referred to as the area of use).

Application:
1. Carefully read these instructions. The instructions should be fastened with M6 screws in an easily accessible and well-lit location within the user's direct line of sight. Place the roll of the product at chest level for the user, in a slightly horizontal position. 2. Perform the act of defecation. 3. Ensure that the act is successfully completed and that there is no urge to continue it (this step is important for saving and rational use of the product). 4. With a direct, forward motion of the right hand downwards, grasp the end of the product, and then with a sharp upward and rightward motion at an angle of approximately 60 degrees to the horizontal, pull the product, unwinding 700 mm of it (for the user's convenience, every 100 mm of the product is marked with perforation). 5. Using multi-directional hand movements in a horizontal plane, tear the strip approximately in the middle between two adjacent sections of perforation. Individuals lacking one of their upper limbs should perform manipulations with the product using a sharp cutting or chopping tool (scissors, table knife, straight razor, meat cleaver). Observe the safety precautions set out in the relevant instructions for these products. NOTE: It is not recommended to tear the product along the perforation sections due to the risk of damage and deformation of the surface layer of the fibrous structure of the product material. 6. Fold the piece of product in an accordion-like manner (like a bayan), folding it sequentially along the perforation sections, creating product No. 2 (see Fig. 1). 7. Transfer it to the hand that is most convenient for the user. 8. Apply the product No. 2 obtained in the previous manipulations to the area of use and, pressing it firmly against the skin, perform wiping movements in the intergluteal space. 9. Placing the used product in a well-lit area, inspect the smear on it for the presence of worm eggs or signs of pediculosis. If any are found, dial 03 and inform the relevant medical institutions at your place of residence. Otherwise, repeat steps 4-9 three to four times. 10. With a clean, dry hand, check the quality of cleaning (the intergluteal space should feel dry, slightly rough to the touch, the edges of the anal opening should be well wiped, and the hair should be fluffy and easily accessible for combing). If there are signs of poor wiping (dirt under the nails, a sharp, specific odor during olfactory control, etc.), repeat the manipulations described in steps 4-9 three to four times.

Safety precautions:
Do not smoke near the product. Do not leave the used product in places of culture, recreation, and dining. Keep out of reach of children. Toilet paper is not a toy, but a hygiene product! It is not recommended to reuse the product multiple times.