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2Drako: IMHO, the rhythm needs work; stick to something consistent: iamb, trochee, or anapest at most.
A nearby star shines upon us like a campfire, Pushing back the darkness, chasing the night away… It tries to reach its lost sisters, Whose glow is hidden in malice by the clouds…
Line 1: N U N - N N - U N N - N U - no rhythm
Line 3: N U N N - N U - N U N N - H U - poor rhythm and inconsistent length.
On the 4th line, it's almost impossible to read...
AlexSpl
