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400 facts about Mikhail Porechenkov
Title: "Day D".
Directors: Mikhail Porechenkov, Ekaterina Pobedinskaya.
Cast: Mikhail Porechenkov, Alexandra Ursulyak, Varvara Porechenkova, Mikhail Trukhin.
Russia, 2008.

1. Mikhail Porechenkov, as well as Mikhail Porechenkov's daughter, starred in Mikhail Porechenkov's film "Mikhail Porechenkov's Day" "Day D" this year, directed by Mikhail Porechenkov and produced by Mikhail Porechenkov's company.
2. Mikhail Porechenkov's company is called "VVP Alliance" not for the reason you might think, whatever you might be thinking.
3. Mikhail Porechenkov's film is not a remake of "Commando". It is "Commando" that is a remake of "Day D". The script was mysteriously stolen through time and space by Hollywood moguls with the help of Uri Geller and ancient Aztec magic. Nothing could stop the unscrupulous dealers.
4. Then, individual parts of the script were sold to S. Spielberg, who had the audacity to insert a couple of jokes from "Day D" into "Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade".
5. Unlike the character in the film, Major Ivan of the Airborne Forces, Mikhail Porechenkov can fly and walk through walls. This created additional inconveniences during filming.
6. Contrary to popular belief, bullets and shrapnel from explosive shells do not bounce off Mikhail Porechenkov's powerful body. Mikhail's superhuman aura turns them into steam even half a meter from his body.
7. The music for Mikhail Porechenkov's film was supposed to be written by D.D. Shostakovich, but he unexpectedly died 33 years before filming began. The creators had to enlist the help of Sergei Shnurov, which only made the film better.
8. To mitigate the possible negative effect of the scene in which Mikhail Porechenkov kills an Estonian politician, scenes were added to the film in which Mikhail kills an evil NATO soldier, a Japanese warlord with a katana threatening the Kuril Islands, an epileptic renegade with a knife, a corrupt journalist (somehow affecting the subtle fabric of this world), and a red-haired, fetishistic cretin in sunglasses, representing the aggressive, imperialistic foreign policy of the United States.
9. Mikhail Porechenkov is an excellent actor. To achieve the same, stony expression on his face throughout the film, he had to meditate for 5 hours every day. During the filming of particularly important episodes, he breathed from a bag of Bruce Lee's ashes to enhance the effect.
10. Episodes of Mikhail Porechenkov's battle with Godzilla, hired by Japanese pirates, were cut from the final version of the film. According to the creators, they looked weak and uninteresting due to Mikhail's obvious superiority.
11. Also, in order to maintain a low age rating, scenes in which Mikhail smokes cigars and curses were cut from the film.
12. However, all these scenes will be included in the upcoming six-hour director's cut of the film.
13. Only a narrow-minded and limited person could think that phrases like "Bondarchuk is arthouse," "Listen to your father!", "You'll die beautifully," "This is Tarkovsky's Solaris," and others are just jokes. When humanity reaches the same level of development as the creators of the film, we will be able to understand what is encoded in them.
14. "The island near Vladivostok" was planned to be filmed in the Himalayas, but north of Lhasa, no settlement could be found where people would not come out into the streets to greet Mikhail.
15. The remaining 385 facts are classified. Access to them can be obtained by sending a request to the Third Underground Department of the FSB. The request must be accompanied by a photocopy of your passport, an encephalogram, a standard set of tests, a clearance form of at least level 2, and a written permission from competent authorities to review the materials.

"Day D" is a trash film of monstrous power. If there existed in nature an Indian remake of "The Terminator" with songs, dances, eternal love, and a cyber-Raj, it would still be inferior to "Day D" in all respects. Unlike the pathetic creations of Messrs. Stepchenko and Chiginsky, Mikhail Porechenkov's film brings exclusively positive emotions to the viewer; you just need to know where to laugh. Coincidences, inconsistencies, similarities and differences of the actors, and the creators' jokes can be caught for a long time and persistently. What difference does it make whether it was planned or "just happened" (IMHO - such a thing cannot "just happen" even with our filmmakers). Those who have never seen the original in their lives may not want to watch "Day D". However, those who understand where it comes from can certainly watch it.

In any case, the main thing is an open mind. "Day D" is a masterpiece. Porechenkov is great. Bondarchuk is arthouse. Unfortunately, few will appreciate the film for what it is. But that is the fate of all masterpieces. (taken from an unknown blog*)