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My friend sent me this joke; I don't know where she found it, but it's very funny.))).
Univercity RPG
________________________________________
Genre: A semester-based mix of strategy and RPG.
Requirements: Secondary education or higher, at least 2 brain cells, preferably a sense of humor; if not, high-quality headphones are required.
Developer: Ministry of Education of the Russian Federation
Publisher: Whoever isn't lazy
Engine: Who knows, but it works.
- MONSTERS -
Level 1 Monsters:
'Freshman Students' - fairly harmless monsters, gathering in groups of 20-25. They often visit 'lectures,' 'seminars,' and 'labs' (see below) to upgrade themselves. If you have level 6 monsters, they scatter.
They have a weak spell called 'We didn't learn that in school,' which doesn't affect anyone.
Level 2 Monsters:
'Sophomore Students' - upgraded freshmen, still not good at anything, but already looking down on freshmen. They gather in groups of 5-6. They can find the 'Toilet' building (see below) on their own. The spell is upgraded to 'We didn't cover that in lectures,' which sometimes (though rarely) affects higher-level monsters.
'Soldiers' - students after encountering higher-level monsters (similar to skeletons in 'Heroes of Might and Magic').
Level 3 Monsters:
'Junior Students' - upgraded sophomores. They are no longer afraid of level 6 monsters but are very vulnerable to level 7 and higher. They look down on sophomores and completely ignore freshmen. When attacked by higher-level monsters, they can defend themselves by using 'Playing Dumb' (level 1).
Level 4 Monsters:
'Senior Students' - stunned juniors. They don't even look at lower-level monsters. They have a defensive spell called 'Almost Done' against the magic 'When will you submit your coursework?' and a spell called 'Thawing Out' when they see level 6 or higher monsters. The 'Arrogance' parameter appears, which increases every week on Saturday night. In the new version of the game, new monsters called 'Idiots' appear - they are the same as senior students, but when they level up, they receive the artifact 'Idiot's Diploma,' and the monster is released into the wild by default, making them one of the most evil and arrogant monsters.
Level 5 Monsters:
'Graduating Students' - very cruel monsters. They are immune to the magic 'Go to hell!'
In the new version, two new types of monsters have appeared:
'Specialists' - in previous versions, they were 'fifth-year students,' but they are now distinguished only by having the artifact 'Idiot's Diploma.'
Completely disillusioned. They only visit 'Cafeteria,' 'Toilet,' and 'Dorm' buildings. Although they are level 5 monsters, they are really only afraid of level 8 and 9 monsters. The 'Arrogance' parameter reaches its peak.
'Masters' - the least studied type of monster; many believe they don't exist at all, and the mention of them is just a joke by the developers.
Level 6 Monsters:
'Postgraduate Students' - an absolutely heterogeneous group of monsters. Morale (mood) and mana depend on the temperature fluctuations at the poles of Mars and the average monthly rainfall in Zimbabwe. Depending on this, they can join your group to attack higher-level monsters or even use the magic 'Go to hell.' It is impossible to find them on the map when you need them; no one knows where they spawn or where they disappear to.
'Lab Assistants' - scary monsters. Kind on the outside, terrible on the inside. They possess the magic 'Asscount disable,' which they constantly use on level 1-5 monsters, and they are also masters of the magic 'Thawing Out.' They are completely defenseless against level 7 and higher monsters and can only somehow resist them in the 'Laboratory' castle using the magic 'Brain Freeze.'
Level 7 Monsters:
'Ordinary Professor' - a rather rare type of monster. Almost always, after at least one encounter with him, the bonus 'Credit' and/or 'Certification' appears.
'Evil Professor' - the main monster. In combat against level 1-5 monsters, he is cunning, cruel, and resourceful. During encounters with them, he uses the spell 'Roll Call.' The less this spell has been used on a unit, the higher its chance of becoming a 'Soldier.'
'Kakoprepod' - perhaps this type of monster uses magic more than any other. Their magic is also special and different for everyone; it is called 'Kakomagic.' Lower-level monsters should only enter into battle with him if they are very well-leveled and fully equipped with the necessary artifacts. He has the ability to attack with spells until the opponent runs out of mana (money?). Some have the Marketing skill at the Expert level.
Level 8 Monsters:
'Department Council' - a gathering of monsters. They almost always attack a unit by luring it into their 'Department' castle, all at once, so the unit has almost no chance of defending itself. The spells 'Thawing Out' and 'Playing Dumb' help a little.
Level 9 Monsters:
'Head of Department' - a mythical creature of the highest level. He possesses the most powerful spell, 'Well, are we going to expel you?' Lower-level monsters, especially levels 1 and 2, run away and hide, using the terrain, at the mere sight of him.
- BUILDINGS -
'Lecture' - increases defense by +1.
'Seminar' - increases attack by +1.
'Lab' - increases all parameters by +1.
'Cafeteria' - increases morale.
'Toilet' - tells you about the flaws of your enemies but lowers morale.
'Dorm' - doesn't add anything, and even reduces it, but monsters from level 1 to 5 really like it.
'Library' - increases knowledge by +5. It is mainly used by monsters up to level 5 in speech in phrases like: 'The semester is coming up; I should go to the library.'
- SKILLS -
'Cheating' (beginner) - gives you a 10% chance of cheating on an exam.
'Cheating' (advanced) - gives you a 50% chance of cheating on an exam.
'Cheating' (expert) - gives you a 99% chance of cheating on an exam.
'Diplomacy' (beginner) - you can bribe a professor, but not yours.
'Diplomacy' (advanced) - you can negotiate with your professor.
'Diplomacy' (expert) - 'What exam? Chinese? I'll finish my cigarette and go take it.'
'Marketing' (beginner) - gives you a chance to write a coursework.
'Marketing' (advanced) - gives you a chance to understand the coursework.
'Marketing' (expert) - gives you a chance to make lower-level monsters understand that they don't know anything about marketing.
- ARTIFACTS -
'Doctor's note' - increases defense by +2.
'Beer 0.5' - increases morale by +5.
'Beer 2 liters' - increases vulnerability to demons of level 6 and higher, but morale +100.
'Notes' - increases knowledge by +5.
'Photocopy of notes' - increases knowledge +1, reduces money -3.
'Calculator' - knowledge +1.
'Coursework' - a very good artifact, assembled from other artifacts, capable of neutralizing level 6-7 monsters.
'Cheat sheet' - knowledge +10.
'Cheat sheet for this subject' - knowledge +20.
'Cheat sheet for this question' - knowledge +40.
'Dad, Professor at the Department' - Ultimate artifact, increases all parameters by +50.
- TIME -
'Semester' - during this time, level 1-5 monsters actively reproduce in the 'Dorm' buildings.
'Exam Session' - during this time, level 1-5 monsters actively reproduce level 6-9 monsters.
Basically, a patch to Chronicles 3 is needed, which will introduce:
Level 10 monsters - department heads-vice-rectors
Level 11 monsters - raid bosses - deans of faculties
Level 12 monster - Rector, also known as Antharas
A large gathering of high-level monsters - Academic Council
Rarely (once every 5 years), quest monsters appear - the Commission for State Accreditation of Higher Education Institutions (they say, however, that these are beta testers). Even ordinary monsters don't like these monsters, so they temporarily stop attacking players and even help them a little.
Univercity RPG
________________________________________
Genre: A semester-based mix of strategy and RPG.
Requirements: Secondary education or higher, at least 2 brain cells, preferably a sense of humor; if not, high-quality headphones are required.
Developer: Ministry of Education of the Russian Federation
Publisher: Whoever isn't lazy
Engine: Who knows, but it works.
- MONSTERS -
Level 1 Monsters:
'Freshman Students' - fairly harmless monsters, gathering in groups of 20-25. They often visit 'lectures,' 'seminars,' and 'labs' (see below) to upgrade themselves. If you have level 6 monsters, they scatter.
They have a weak spell called 'We didn't learn that in school,' which doesn't affect anyone.
Level 2 Monsters:
'Sophomore Students' - upgraded freshmen, still not good at anything, but already looking down on freshmen. They gather in groups of 5-6. They can find the 'Toilet' building (see below) on their own. The spell is upgraded to 'We didn't cover that in lectures,' which sometimes (though rarely) affects higher-level monsters.
'Soldiers' - students after encountering higher-level monsters (similar to skeletons in 'Heroes of Might and Magic').
Level 3 Monsters:
'Junior Students' - upgraded sophomores. They are no longer afraid of level 6 monsters but are very vulnerable to level 7 and higher. They look down on sophomores and completely ignore freshmen. When attacked by higher-level monsters, they can defend themselves by using 'Playing Dumb' (level 1).
Level 4 Monsters:
'Senior Students' - stunned juniors. They don't even look at lower-level monsters. They have a defensive spell called 'Almost Done' against the magic 'When will you submit your coursework?' and a spell called 'Thawing Out' when they see level 6 or higher monsters. The 'Arrogance' parameter appears, which increases every week on Saturday night. In the new version of the game, new monsters called 'Idiots' appear - they are the same as senior students, but when they level up, they receive the artifact 'Idiot's Diploma,' and the monster is released into the wild by default, making them one of the most evil and arrogant monsters.
Level 5 Monsters:
'Graduating Students' - very cruel monsters. They are immune to the magic 'Go to hell!'
In the new version, two new types of monsters have appeared:
'Specialists' - in previous versions, they were 'fifth-year students,' but they are now distinguished only by having the artifact 'Idiot's Diploma.'
Completely disillusioned. They only visit 'Cafeteria,' 'Toilet,' and 'Dorm' buildings. Although they are level 5 monsters, they are really only afraid of level 8 and 9 monsters. The 'Arrogance' parameter reaches its peak.
'Masters' - the least studied type of monster; many believe they don't exist at all, and the mention of them is just a joke by the developers.
Level 6 Monsters:
'Postgraduate Students' - an absolutely heterogeneous group of monsters. Morale (mood) and mana depend on the temperature fluctuations at the poles of Mars and the average monthly rainfall in Zimbabwe. Depending on this, they can join your group to attack higher-level monsters or even use the magic 'Go to hell.' It is impossible to find them on the map when you need them; no one knows where they spawn or where they disappear to.
'Lab Assistants' - scary monsters. Kind on the outside, terrible on the inside. They possess the magic 'Asscount disable,' which they constantly use on level 1-5 monsters, and they are also masters of the magic 'Thawing Out.' They are completely defenseless against level 7 and higher monsters and can only somehow resist them in the 'Laboratory' castle using the magic 'Brain Freeze.'
Level 7 Monsters:
'Ordinary Professor' - a rather rare type of monster. Almost always, after at least one encounter with him, the bonus 'Credit' and/or 'Certification' appears.
'Evil Professor' - the main monster. In combat against level 1-5 monsters, he is cunning, cruel, and resourceful. During encounters with them, he uses the spell 'Roll Call.' The less this spell has been used on a unit, the higher its chance of becoming a 'Soldier.'
'Kakoprepod' - perhaps this type of monster uses magic more than any other. Their magic is also special and different for everyone; it is called 'Kakomagic.' Lower-level monsters should only enter into battle with him if they are very well-leveled and fully equipped with the necessary artifacts. He has the ability to attack with spells until the opponent runs out of mana (money?). Some have the Marketing skill at the Expert level.
Level 8 Monsters:
'Department Council' - a gathering of monsters. They almost always attack a unit by luring it into their 'Department' castle, all at once, so the unit has almost no chance of defending itself. The spells 'Thawing Out' and 'Playing Dumb' help a little.
Level 9 Monsters:
'Head of Department' - a mythical creature of the highest level. He possesses the most powerful spell, 'Well, are we going to expel you?' Lower-level monsters, especially levels 1 and 2, run away and hide, using the terrain, at the mere sight of him.
- BUILDINGS -
'Lecture' - increases defense by +1.
'Seminar' - increases attack by +1.
'Lab' - increases all parameters by +1.
'Cafeteria' - increases morale.
'Toilet' - tells you about the flaws of your enemies but lowers morale.
'Dorm' - doesn't add anything, and even reduces it, but monsters from level 1 to 5 really like it.
'Library' - increases knowledge by +5. It is mainly used by monsters up to level 5 in speech in phrases like: 'The semester is coming up; I should go to the library.'
- SKILLS -
'Cheating' (beginner) - gives you a 10% chance of cheating on an exam.
'Cheating' (advanced) - gives you a 50% chance of cheating on an exam.
'Cheating' (expert) - gives you a 99% chance of cheating on an exam.
'Diplomacy' (beginner) - you can bribe a professor, but not yours.
'Diplomacy' (advanced) - you can negotiate with your professor.
'Diplomacy' (expert) - 'What exam? Chinese? I'll finish my cigarette and go take it.'
'Marketing' (beginner) - gives you a chance to write a coursework.
'Marketing' (advanced) - gives you a chance to understand the coursework.
'Marketing' (expert) - gives you a chance to make lower-level monsters understand that they don't know anything about marketing.
- ARTIFACTS -
'Doctor's note' - increases defense by +2.
'Beer 0.5' - increases morale by +5.
'Beer 2 liters' - increases vulnerability to demons of level 6 and higher, but morale +100.
'Notes' - increases knowledge by +5.
'Photocopy of notes' - increases knowledge +1, reduces money -3.
'Calculator' - knowledge +1.
'Coursework' - a very good artifact, assembled from other artifacts, capable of neutralizing level 6-7 monsters.
'Cheat sheet' - knowledge +10.
'Cheat sheet for this subject' - knowledge +20.
'Cheat sheet for this question' - knowledge +40.
'Dad, Professor at the Department' - Ultimate artifact, increases all parameters by +50.
- TIME -
'Semester' - during this time, level 1-5 monsters actively reproduce in the 'Dorm' buildings.
'Exam Session' - during this time, level 1-5 monsters actively reproduce level 6-9 monsters.
Basically, a patch to Chronicles 3 is needed, which will introduce:
Level 10 monsters - department heads-vice-rectors
Level 11 monsters - raid bosses - deans of faculties
Level 12 monster - Rector, also known as Antharas
A large gathering of high-level monsters - Academic Council
Rarely (once every 5 years), quest monsters appear - the Commission for State Accreditation of Higher Education Institutions (they say, however, that these are beta testers). Even ordinary monsters don't like these monsters, so they temporarily stop attacking players and even help them a little.
