Would you be able to kill a person?

I've noticed something while interacting with people. I seem to have a slightly different attitude towards death (perhaps others feel the same way, but they just don't show it). I've witnessed many deaths, but it never really bothered me. Even when comrades died right in front of me, I felt a sense of guilt for not being affected by it. When I joined the "mortuary team," I tried to evoke some feeling of sadness, but it didn't work. Except for one instance when I started thinking about the mother and children of one of the guys.
But in peacetime, I wouldn't be able to kill, even if my life were in danger. I think I would act like everyone else, but only if the danger involved my children. And only the death of children would deeply sadden me, regardless of whether they were mine or someone else's.
P.S. But everything changes when I'm heavily intoxicated!