Fun

FULL HARDCORE COLLECTION
Chelyabinsk vodka is so hardcore that it was banned in 190 countries as
a nuclear weapon
The Chelyabinsk intelligentsia are so hardcore that they lie in wait with bats for
anyone who isn't registered at the library.
Chelyabinsk youth are so hardcore that in winter frosts they drink tea only
with ice, and they go outside and wait until the ice forms in the cup.
Chelyabinsk porn is so hardcore that it was banned in Germany
Chelyabinsk weed is so hardcore that it makes even the neighbor behind
the wall crack up
Chelyabinsk "United Russia" members are so hardcore that they kick Putin's portraits
with their feet...
Chelyabinsk admins are so hardcore that they communicate and download porn via
telegraph
Chelyabinsk admins are so hardcore that users prefer
to work with abacuses
Chelyabinsk antiviruses are so hardcore that they format the
hard drive during every scan.
Chelyabinsk pharmacies are so hardcore that they sell medicines without a prescription

Chelyabinsk amusement rides are so hardcore that every single one has a blood drain.
Chelyabinsk grandmas are so hardcore that even the
driver gives up his seat for them on the bus
Chelyabinsk bums are so hardcore that they opened a chain of pawn shops.
Chelyabinsk patients are so hardcore that when they have diarrhea, they take laxatives.
Chelyabinsk accountants are so hardcore that tax officers fill out all their
reports and declarations for them.
Chelyabinsk accountants are so hardcore that they count on their fingers
Chelyabinsk bulls are so hardcore that they love bullfighting
Chelyabinsk cyclists are so hardcore that they never shift from
gear 3/8
Chelyabinsk minibus drivers are so hardcore that they drop off passengers
without stopping.
Chelyabinsk drivers are so hardcore that they fundamentally run over
pedestrians, even if they are walking on the lawn of a city park at the time.
Chelyabinsk military are so hardcore that hazing is written into the Regulations.
Chelyabinsk doctors are so hardcore that they operate without anesthesia
Chelyabinsk traffic cops are so hardcore that they stopped the president's motorcade
Chelyabinsk gamers are so hardcore that they arrange network slaughters on 8-bit consoles
Chelyabinsk gamers are so hardcore that they play Tetris on Windows Vista
Chelyabinsk gamers are so hardcore that they don't sit at computers, but walk the streets with "Kalashnikovs" and shoot out the freaks...
Chelyabinsk chief engineers are so hardcore that they pay "kickbacks" to tender participants themselves.
Chelyabinsk voters are so hardcore that they vote openly
Chelyabinsk gays are so hardcore that ... they die
Chelyabinsk skiers are so hardcore that they put their skis on with the tips facing backward.
Chelyabinsk dentists are so hardcore that they rip out patients' teeth immediately, and while they're at it, amputate limbs...
Chelyabinsk girls are so hardcore that they find flowers repulsive
Chelyabinsk girls are so hardcore that they post their passport photo on dating sites.
Chelyabinsk girls are so hardcore that first they give, and then they take it back.
Chelyabinsk children are so hardcore that they eat candies along with the wrappers.
Chelyabinsk children are so hardcore that they already attend military department in school
Chelyabinsk designers are so hardcore that they draw in MS Paint
Chelyabinsk milkmaids are so hardcore that Chelyabinsk bulls hide in the forests
Chelyabinsk woodpeckers are so hardcore that they pecked out two metro stations
Chelyabinsk Jews are so hardcore that while vacationing at the Dead Sea, they beat some national team at football...
Chelyabinsk women are so hardcore that they use reeds instead of tampons
Chelyabinsk wives are so hardcore - that they give to everyone except their husbands.
Chelyabinsk residents are so hardcore that if they ever caught the jerk who makes up these idiotic expressions about them, they would hand him over to Chelyabinsk thugs.
Chelyabinsk residents are so hardcore that all of Russia can make up idiotic expressions about them.
Chelyabinsk gas station attendants are so hardcore that they jam the fuel nozzle into the tank without opening the flap.
Chelyabinsk convicts are so hardcore that they escape from prison together with
the guard dogs.
Chelyabinsk hitmen are so hardcore that they fire 10 confirmation shots
Chelyabinsk clowns are so hardcore that they perform at torture and interrogation sessions.
Chelyabinsk mosquitoes are so hardcore that they suck their own blood
Chelyabinsk combine operators are so hardcore that they mow down forests
Chelyabinsk communists are so hardcore that they celebrate Lenin's Birthday every day!
Chelyabinsk candies are so hardcore that you wash them down with vodka
Chelyabinsk cosmonauts are so hardcore that they return to earth without a capsule
Chelyabinsk cosmonauts are so hardcore that they go into open space just to pee
Chelyabinsk smokers are so hardcore that instead of regular cigarettes, they smoke pipes at the ChTZ plant
Chelyabinsk horses are so hardcore that they smoke
Chelyabinsk nurses are so hardcore that they give injections with a needleless syringe
Chelyabinsk music lovers are so hardcore that Sergey Shnurov doesn't swear during concerts in Chelyabinsk
Chelyabinsk metallurgists are so hardcore that they light their cigarettes directly from the
Open-hearth furnace
Chelyabinsk infants are so hardcore that they eat apples before getting their first teeth
Chelyabinsk men are so hardcore that instead of a fan, they use an airplane turbine
Chelyabinsk men are so hardcore that they wipe their asses with sandpaper
Chelyabinsk men are so hardcore that Chuck Norris admitted he is a
Chelyabinsk man
Chelyabinsk men are so hardcore that they don't drink coffee, they eat it by the spoonful from the jar
Chelyabinsk men are so hardcore that they nail doghouses to trees instead of birdhouses
Chelyabinsk men are so hardcore that they shave with milling machines
Chelyabinsk Mumu own such hardcore dogs that they drown their owners.
Chelyabinsk flies are so hardcore that they don't let people flush after themselves.
Chelyabinsk taxpayers are so hardcore that there is an ATM in the tax office that gives out money
Chelyabinsk drug addicts are so hardcore that they pack weed straight into their nose, light it, and smoke.
Chelyabinsk drug addicts are so hardcore that instead of injections, they set up an IV drip
Chelyabinsk blacks are so hardcore that they eat skinheads alive.
Chelyabinsk overclockers are so hardcore that they overclock stereo systems
Chelyabinsk hunters are so hardcore that they go after bears with only a
packet of toothpicks.
Chelyabinsk waiters are so hardcore that they pour champagne without opening the bottle.
Chelyabinsk hairdressers are so hardcore that people visit them wearing helmets
Chelyabinsk singers are so hardcore that they sing without a microphone
Chelyabinsk pensioners are so hardcore that visiting football and
hockey ultras are afraid to make noise after 22.00.
Chelyabinsk Chinese restaurant chefs are so hardcore that there are not only no dogs, cats, or mice in the city, but no cockroaches either.
Chelyabinsk firefighters are so hardcore that they put out fires with gasoline.
Chelyabinsk mail carriers are so hardcore that they bite all the dogs on the rear end themselves
Chelyabinsk human rights activists are so hardcore that their idol is Stalin, and they themselves support cannibalism.
Chelyabinsk programmers are so hardcore that they program on paper
Chelyabinsk sellers are so hardcore that they don't give change less than 10 rubles
Chelyabinsk sellers are so hardcore that they don't let
customers into their stores.
Chelyabinsk processors are so hardcore that they perform operations with Roman numerals.
Chelyabinsk birds are so hardcore that for winter they fly not south, but
north.
Chelyabinsk ambulance workers are so hardcore that instead of stretchers, they bring coffins on calls
Chelyabinsk crayfish are so hardcore that when you boil them, they stay green
Chelyabinsk religions are so hardcore that they deny the gods.
Chelyabinsk maternity hospitals are so hardcore that they discharge patients an hour after birth
Chelyabinsk parents are so hardcore that they force their children to watch
Teletubbies until they are 18
Chelyabinsk rappers are so hardcore that they perform at
Ku Klux Klan corporate parties
Chelyabinsk plumbers are so hardcore that they drink from the toilet
Chelyabinsk bomb disposal experts are so hardcore that they make mistakes many times
Chelyabinsk fairy tales are so hardcore that even Magadan convicts are afraid to read them.
Chelyabinsk skinheads are so hardcore that they don't shave their heads, they scalp themselves.
Chelyabinsk carpenters are so hardcore that Buratino asked for asylum at "Ilim Pulp".
Chelyabinsk dentists are so hardcore that their only tools are a hammer, pliers, and a drill
Chelyabinsk students are so hardcore that they defend their thesis without even showing up to the defense.
Chelyabinsk students are so hardcore that the military commissar runs away from them himself
Chelyabinsk judges are so hardcore that they give three life sentences for
hooliganism.
Chelyabinsk supermarkets are so hardcore that there is no heating in them during winter.
Chelyabinsk taxi drivers are so hardcore that they handcuff passengers for the entire trip;
Chelyabinsk terrorists are so hardcore that they blow themselves up at home out of
impatience
Chelyabinsk party-goers are so hardcore that during their pedicure, the chain of a "Druzhba" chainsaw snaps several times.
Chelyabinsk public toilet cleaners are so hardcore that they don't mop the floors, they pour concrete over them.
Chelyabinsk teachers are so hardcore that they assign trigonometric equations for homework as early as first grade.
Chelyabinsk fans are so hardcore that they beat the Japanese national karate team
Chelyabinsk weather vanes are so hardcore that they tell the wind which direction to blow
Chelyabinsk surgeons are so hardcore that they organized a public
movement: "Are your limbs still intact? Then we're coming for you!".
Chelyabinsk hockey players are so hardcore that they play on asphalt
Chelyabinsk hockey players are so hardcore that they play with crowbars
Chelyabinsk officials are so hardcore that they don't even take bribes.
Chelyabinsk "churkas" are so hardcore that they hate churkas
Chelyabinsk schoolchildren are so hardcore that they don't smoke during breaks, they chew cigarettes right during lessons
Chelyabinsk emos are so hardcore that they whack gopniks
Chelyabinsk Internet Explorer is so hardcore that you can't turn off images or enable cache
Chelyabinsk glamour is so hardcore that it wears quilted jackets and drinks moonshine.
The Chelyabinsk elite wine competition was so hardcore that "777" port wine won.
Chelyabinsk Koschei the Deathless is so hardcore that he keeps the needle in his own testicle.
Chelyabinsk public catering is so hardcore that even in a Japanese restaurant, they eat with two sticks (kiys).
The Chelyabinsk circus is so hardcore that tickets are sold not for entry, but for exit
Chelyabinsk gopniks are so hardcore that they buy sunflower seeds by the bucketload
Chelyabinsk beer is so hardcore that its strength exceeds medical alcohol
Chelyabinsk radio is so hardcore that it hits your hands when you try to turn it off...
Chelyabinsk radio is so hardcore that not only does it not broadcast itself, but it also
jams the transmissions of neighboring radio stations.
Chelyabinsk people laugh so hard//hardcore that you want to give them a drop of nicotine