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What's so "lohan-like" about them? Their speed, initiative, attack, and defense are all decent. Or are you not satisfied with dealing 50-50 damage? Maybe the resurrection ability, bringing back one Paladin or ten Archers on an Archangel, doesn't appeal to you?
P.S. There's no need to talk about Heroes of Might and Magic III in this thread, as it's not the appropriate section.
O God of Earth and Altar, Bow down and hear our cry, Our earthly rulers falter, Our people drift and die, The walls of gold entomb us, The swords of scorn divide, Take not thy thunder from us, Take away our pride.