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Dear Timi,
I also can't go back to where I started. However, this doesn't stop me from improving.
Many (or all – it's not crucial) people find themselves in a situation where they can't "return to where they began." But how they proceed is a choice they make based on their value system. You found yourself in a situation where you can't go back and decided to improve through meditation because you consider improving through meditation to be valuable in this situation. If I were in a situation where I couldn't go back, I would choose something else – something that would be valuable to me in that situation.
Sincerely,
Gur