It’s a very long story…

So, the mutation not only improved the dog's physical abilities but also severely impaired its intelligence, as it decided to abandon Chappy. Well, it's time to finally start the mega battle between the American kitty and the Soviet dog...
Round #1...
A stunning blonde walked into the ring with a sign that said "Round #1." Judging by the grammar, she wrote the sign herself, but half of the audience didn't bother watching the fight and immediately rushed to flirt with the blonde (she was also topless). The commentator, while checking the equipment, loudly repeated all the swear words he knew from A to Z, so by the end of the tirade, everyone remaining was openly yawning. And then, Khkot-f-sapokhakh appeared, with a tattoo of Klitschko on his chest...