Greetings to You, esteemed and beloved by all, Creator-God.
I cannot help but feel a tremor while writing this missive, the tremor of a creation addressing its Creator.
I write to You for the following.
I—a simple country lad, as some claim—by the will of fate and a confluence of circumstances, have become registered upon this Forum.
Yet almost immediately, I felt the differences between this Forum and others I have visited previously. Differences, it must be admitted, noticed not by me alone.
Of course, the foremost among them is "I hate 30 characters," as we, the denizens of this Forum, have named it—the restriction on the minimum length of a message, should this fact have escaped Your gaze.
This restriction is most very vexing; a simplest example being the certain difficulty of playing word association games, in which messages must be elongated by all means, primarily with "!", "." or even ")" signs.
Naturally, this is not to our liking, and we bow our heads and most humbly beseech You to remove this restriction with Your right hand.
In the event that You fear for the safety of the Forum from single-letter posts, I can only say—that the appointment of moderators is already nearing its finish, and on other Forums people live perfectly well and, as they say, without a care in the world even without such measures.
The second point of our petition is the size restriction on signatures, namely—no more than two hundred characters. But in practice, it amounts to only a couple of lines. We most earnestly request, bowing our heads, that You at least increase the permitted size, if removing the restriction entirely is something You do not wish.
I conjure You to take my word that signatures will remain within reasonable bounds, again based on experience from other Forums, and taking into account the fact that the moderator's sword is sharpened keen and sacredly upholds law and order.
The third and final point of this union is the matter "Concerning Userbars."
The essence of the question is simple—a userbar is a pleasant thing, not burdening the users' traffic, occupying space on an independent host, yet it cannot be created here.
But, in turn, our simple folk, the peasantry, would breathe easier were such an occasion available.
A rumor has recently spread among the plowmen that this is an imperfection of physical matter, an absence of IMG codes favoring this cause. Or perhaps not an absence at all, but a simple disabling. Which, in general, could be corrected in an instant by Your life-giving right hand.
For this, I offer You a low bow and my gratitude.
Believe me, these prayers and requests are uttered by every one of us, and a blessing shall come to all from this.
Awaiting a swift reply, the community's diplomatic envoy, Loken.
and here is the radiant answer from Our Benefactor:
Greetings to you, diplomatic envoy Loken.
Of course, the foremost among them is "I hate 30 characters," as we, the denizens of this Forum, have named it—the restriction on the minimum length of a message, should this fact have escaped Your gaze.
This restriction is most very vexing.
The second point of our petition is the size restriction on signatures, namely—no more than two hundred characters.
A rumor has recently spread among the plowmen that this is an imperfection of physical matter, an absence of IMG codes favoring this cause.
Respectfully, The Creator.
ah! rejoice, simple peasant folk!
We most humbly thank You, Creator!
O! This is a Miracle of Miracles!
Userbars can now be placed,
And signatures—reach the skies!
Delivered from the tyranny of signs,
Those thirty that were meant to spite!
O Creator-God, You are so kind,
And we are lucky to have You!
