Fun

Friends! Finally, we learned the name of Chuck Norris's main enemy (which, by the way, explains one of the facts about Chuck). 1. In his numerous pockets, Anatoly Wasserman keeps dead kittens and hamsters. 2. Anatoly Wasserman is the father of Nikolai Valuev. 3. Anatoly Wasserman has 7 brains, one in his head, 5 scattered in his pockets, and one in his beard. 4. Anatoly Wasserman was photographed while having sex with Valeria Novodvorskaya. Scandals! Intrigues! Investigations! 5. Anatoly Wasserman's vest weighs 70 kg and contains 354 items. Among other things, he always carries a pocket astrolabe and a scale model of the Universe. 6. Anatoly Wasserman's brain is the only thing in the Universe that Chuck Norris needs. 7. Anatoly Wasserman doesn't need the internet; he has memory. 8. Anatoly Wasserman's vest has a metal frame to support his 30-kilogram brain. Druzh uses his nostrils for this purpose. 9. After Armageddon, the survivors will hear Wasserman's voice from the sky. He will say, "Calm down, Chuck. Someone has to fix all this." 10. When the internet breaks down, you can connect to Anatoly Wasserman and restore it from the cache. 11. Five minutes of contemplating a photograph of Anatoly Wasserman increases IQ by 30%. 12. When Anatoly eats a person's brain, he gains all their knowledge. 13. Anatoly Wasserman never eats mushrooms because any mushroom could be Anatoly Wasserman. And Anatoly Wasserman doesn't like recursion. 14. Anatoly Wasserman's glasses, among other things, can see in infrared and X-ray spectrum. That's why he isn't lying when he says he can see the person he's talking to through and through. P.S. Chuck Norris sometimes borrows them to fight against air terrorism, to look at naked women at the airport. 15. Chuck Norris always calls Anatoly Wasserman before going to bed. 16. In his distant childhood, Anatoly Wasserman wore tights with 15 pockets. 17. Anatoly Wasserman wipes his ass with punched cards. 18. His wife still calls Wasserman Sauron the Great out of habit. 19. If you pull Wasserman's beard three times and make a wish, Nikolai Valuev will immediately appear and beat your face. 20. Anatoly Wasserman's hamster received a second higher education. 21. Anatoly is just waiting for his hamster to receive the Nobel Prize, and then he will eat its brain. 22. The FSB keeps a hair from Anatoly Wasserman's beard as a standard for nanotechnology. 23. Wasserman works as Wikipedia in his free time. 24. Google fits in Wasserman's cerebellum. 25. Google and Wikipedia are just small, private cases of Anatoly's fleeting thoughtfulness. 26. Anatoly Wasserman's early response is the only case of exceeding the speed of light in the macro world. 27. Anatoly Wasserman reads books in the infrared range at a speed of up to 1250 Mbps at a distance of up to 900 meters. 28. Pickpockets love Anatoly Wasserman. 29. Vladimir Putin and George Bush are just pawns in Anatoly Wasserman's cunning game. 30. In school, Grisha Perelman lost a "Alyonka" chocolate bar to Tolya Wasserman in a bet about the bosonic model of string theory. 31. Few people know that Anatoly Wasserman invented and patented 258 recipes for his favorite buckwheat pancakes. 32. Anatoly Wasserman's hamster heads the "Microsoft" corporation. 33. In the pockets of Wasserman's vest, he carries artifacts. In particular, it became known that he has: an artifact +500% to memory –90% to libido and an artifact +6 to intelligence –10 to dexterity. 34. It was Anatoly Wasserman who invented borscht and vacations in Egypt. 35. Chuck Norris is a disguised hamster of Anatoly Wasserman. 36. Wasserman believes that "42" is an unnecessarily verbose answer to the main question of Life, the Universe, and Everything. 37. Anatoly lost his virginity by having sex with a high-load server at the Pentagon. 38. When Anatoly Wasserman spoils the air in the office, typists start typing text 30% faster. 39. They don't like Wasserman on the show "What? Where? When?", especially Druzh. Sometimes he calls him in the evening and starts saying all sorts of nasty things in a female voice. And Wasserman listens, he is not allowed by his upbringing to interrupt a woman or end the conversation first. 40. Anatoly Wasserman can scan a barcode with his eyes and burn a DVD. 41. In fact, Chuck is Anatoly's imaginary evil twin. When Anatoly was a child, he was scolded for writing "loser" on Einstein's portrait again, he always said, "It wasn't me, it was Chuck!" 42. Even Anatoly Wasserman himself doesn't know whether he invented the Universe, or the Universe invented Wasserman. 43. Anatoly Wasserman doesn't poop. 44. In pocket number zero, Anatoly Wasserman keeps a list of the contents of all pockets. And in pocket number one, he keeps a backup copy. 45. Anatoly Wasserman's fingerprints are Mandelbrot fractals. 46. In Japanese, the surname Wasserman is written with two hieroglyphs, one of which means "brain," and the other "almighty." 47. Dumbledore and Gandalf were created solely to prepare children and teenagers for the fact of Anatoly Wasserman's existence. 48. Two liters of borscht can fit in Anatoly Wasserman's beard. 49. Anatoly Wasserman starred naked on the cover of "Popular Mechanics" magazine. 50. In fact, Wasserman braids his beard into a braid at night, becomes Grebenshchikov, and writes songs for him. 51. When Anatoly Wasserman wants to go somewhere, he doesn't go there, but moves the universe towards himself. 52. When Anatoly Wasserman wants sex, he just develops a new theorem, which then captivates the entire scientific world. 53. When Anatoly Wasserman gets bored, he archives the Universe. 54. Scientists are not yet aware that the Big Bang is Anatoly Wasserman's orgasm. 55. Anatoly Wasserman is capable of dividing by zero! 56. First, there was a beard and a vest, which eventually grew into Anatoly Wasserman. 57. Anatoly Wasserman is the only person in the world who can prove his point of view to a chatbot. 58. Artemy Lebedev is Anatoly Wasserman's immaculately conceived son. 59. Anatoly Wasserman won against Alexandra Pakhmutova in a "pakhmut" game. 60. Nostradamus predicted that in 2017, the Earth would be filled with Wasserman's pockets, and humanity would perish.