Attention! Floodscar 2008.

*I rush onto the stage, my jacket is unbuttoned and soaked in beer.* YOPTA, BLIN!! *I run backstage to put down the bottle.* Sorry for the delay, I was at a beer place (Censored for advertising!). Today, we are presenting an award, a real literary award – the Best Signature! And you will be surprised, but the winner is once again the greedy and insatiable caterpillar N_N!!!!!! *A wave of "Ahhhh" and "Oh my god!" sweeps through the hall, but from the back rows, "Yopta *lya! Get the f*** out!!!" and the sound of breaking bottles can be heard.* *After very tediously breaking through the wall and clearly not wanting to, the giant caterpillar crawls towards the stage, pushing people aside.* Me: Hello, N_N!!! N_N: ravporugshkprvlrgrshyrpguyrpryvl Translator: You are so annoying, especially you!! N_N: What is it this time??? Ugh, I mean, aivpouckgoshnyvarpfrtsukptsukp Me: You have won the award for the best signature!! N_N: But I can't write! Someone is always scribbling something on me! *Everyone looks at the caterpillar's skin, which is covered in chalk, nails, and paint. The most common inscriptions are "Russu tourist!!" and "F***".* Me: Congratulations, and as a prize, you will receive a cart of turnips! N_N: I DON'T WANT TURNIPS!! I'LL EAT YOU!! *I throw an Oscar, a bottle of beer, then a shovel, a kitchen mixer, a meat grinder, a doghouse, a Belarus tractor, and a grain of rice at the caterpillar.* N_N *coughs* Damn! The rice got stuck in the wrong throat(((( And the next nomination is Creative Personality, but I won't vote for it yet because I need to rush off and beat up critics with a shovel in some chat. Wish the Holy Inquisition good luck!!