ValgallaWolf

Yopt, damn it... so you're a freakin' newbie, really, damn it! O_O!!
Yopt, Wolf, you're sending me under the table for the third time already, my head hurts, I'm about to hit the floor ((((( and you know what? There might be a "Damn, This Forum" nomination, and it looks like you found out in advance))))))))

But the truth lies in meditation and knowledge; I say a prayer before every post, that's why I have so few, about 0.6 per day)))))))) check my registration date)))) And here, 11 posts is just horrifying, the main thing is they're not spam, but normal ones — I thought he was basically a forum veteran by post count, never would've taken him for a newbie, and yet there are already 400 O_o!! In short, this is one seriously hardcore newbie))))))))
Here's a haiku my fans wrote about me:

Wolf toils without rest,
Like a peasant in a rice field,
The samurai bows to Alucard.

This haiku touches on my delusions of grandeur))) Wolf and Alucard can be replaced with any names, even swapped around, and only those who have grasped the secret of the sound of one hand clapping and know the sound of a falling tree in the forest, whose chakras are open and minds are pure, can read it.
Or those who have a custom skin on HeroesWorld, or those who know how to really jiggle their mouse around))))))))))))))

A haiku is a good thing)))) rhyme is not needed in it)))

P.S.
The awarding is being moved to tomorrow because my creativity isn't flowing!
P.P.S.
Great that Wolf won, because I couldn't think of a new award show ceremony))))
But since we have such a hardcore newbie, we'll come up with something)))))

Added after 23 hours 45 minutes
Oh yopt, my head hurts, no strength to come up with a presentation, so I'll just announce the winner ValgallaWolf, I never even thought he was a newbie)))) that's what "hardcore" means))))))))

Well, the next nomination will be easy and won't require you to strain your memory; the voting will probably go quickly, and it's called Best Signature. A completely subjective nomination — it could be a serious signature or, on the contrary, a sarcastic one, even if signatures change often, the voting isn't for a specific signature but for the overall impression.
I had several candidates. First, Arandor with his... zoophilic or whatever signature))))))) Then I really liked the poem in Mdance's signature about slaughter and heroism — now it's different; actually, there are many good signatures, but I like Loken's signatures the most.
First, they're all in the same style; second, they're inspired by Warhammer (and one exactly repeated a phrase from Warhammer); then I really liked the signature about showing off and clans, and the sarcastic signature about psychologists being sent to hell for re-groping — actually, it wasn't sarcastic before that one famous topic, it became that way later)))))))
So I'm giving my vote to Loken

Though, in reality, there are tons of candidates for this nomination, and a lot depends simply on which signatures you remember)))) hehe, after Loken I remembered Elephas's signature about the elephant lady — also cool, very cute))))
hehehe, and also that hilarious rhyming signature by Twelf))))) also sarcastic))) And I really liked my old signature with the "illiterate 'you can'" ))))) Yeah, there are so many, you can't remember them all)))