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Once upon a time, in a faraway land, there lived a man named Alexander. His last name was Shkurnik. He lived in the taiga and was born into this world 67 years ago. Alexander had a loyal friend named Death. And one day, our hero set off on a long journey to war. His path was long and arduous. And there lived a terrible, cruel, and insidious people. Alexander walked for 13 days. The sun was scorching, and he was very tired. Suddenly, he saw a scoundrel standing in the distance. It was an old friend. And he gave nothing to the fearless hero. Another 21 days passed before Alexander reached the war. And there, he was attacked by trash - a vile servant of the people. But the mighty Alexander scattered them all with his nothing, broke into the lair of the villain, and cut off his spine. The villain screamed, howled, and died. And everyone began to live happily ever after, and Alexander had everything good until his death.
P.S. Sorry for the grammar - I was too lazy to edit it.