Who am I?

Nazg, it seems like we're the only ones here who are so modest:)
I... well, I... eat when there's food available:) as much as possible:) some people here know that I sometimes have a hard time at home with food... it's all because everyone eats like crazy, and no one wants to go to the store :O
that's why I often sit with an empty fridge, and half the day my thoughts are filled with all sorts of devilish plans on how to make something edible out of the meager leftovers... although dumplings are the only dish that I have often in my house, I put them in a deep, deep bowl after cooking, so that there's a big pile:) I add a lot of butter, sprinkle with spices, and pour mayonnaise on top. My friend was always surprised that I eat so many dumplings and I'm not fat.
so, author, if you're not fat, you can double the portion:) and if you don't mind spending the money.