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It’s a very long story…

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#4
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Soul, you didn't quite understand the point. You were supposed to continue the story, not add to it. For example, my post ended like this:
"but suddenly he stumbled upon an unexpected obstacle..."
And your post should have started like this:
"This obstacle was a huge, talking woodpecker admin who was pecking at the monitor with his beak and saying something about worms."
That is, so that all the posts in this thread could be combined into one.
For example, I'll continue your post:

...And after analyzing the DNA, it is possible to isolate a tissue sample, clone a creature from it, and subject it to hellish torments MUAHAAHAAAA!!!!!!!
Нет, я же Гитлер.