HeroesWorld

What if we tried to create a movie script together!

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Offline Simsa
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Posts: 57
#97
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I've read the new text. I only stumbled on this phrase:
added a resonant bass to his thought, like a dwarf
I reread it several times... I can't fully imagine this phrase... either something is wrong with it... or with my imagination...

Maybe:
added his thought with a resonant, dwarfish bass

is better, more correct?

Otherwise, I didn't find any mistakes. Sincerely, Simas.
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