Simsa
Auto-translated
Right. Regarding the topic of where the book should be, I'm not paying attention to that for now... the editing process is still ongoing...
Basically, I tried to piece everything together, taking some comments into account and editing it. Please review it. If something is in the wrong order or you don't like my additions – my apologies. It's just that there was one battle text and then a second pieced-together one... And your compilations have holes and inconsistencies. Honestly, I got confused about what goes where and how, what can and should be written in, and what to leave out. Combine, add... in short, I tried to account for the additions and assemble them into a whole. I edited the battle text. Extensively.
...And there was darkness. And time stopped. There was neither good nor evil, only that from which they were to be restored. And as the darkness began to thicken, a spark ignited in this cradle of life... A spark like the last star before dawn, losing, but fighting to the end. And the Gloom was defeated.
It burned with its gentle, pale flame. Slumbering... It still has a role to play. Later, much later than its birth...
...Much time passed, though how to say, since time is stopped. But the warmth and light from this spark created that which should change all of this...
Chapter One
The young elf Albin wiped blood from his sword. Recently at the school of the Invisible Hand, as a gifted student, he had been given an assassination contract for a decent reward. A certain woman was ready to pay up to 1000 coins for this task; depending on how the killing went. Now, beneath the shadow of a tree lay a man—reasonably well-dressed—at the feet of the elf, whose eyes were as black and bottomless as Silanna's. The last thing left to do – Albin flicked his knife, and in his hand remained a finger with this man's ring. Proof that he was killed.
Glenger is several days' journey away. Night had fallen, and our hero decided to spend the night at an inn. In the morning, after breakfast and watching a couple of brawls, the youth went into the city where he was expected. He needed to reach the passage underground within the day, and it would be easier from there.
On the way, Albin kept examining the signet ring. Although assassins are not supposed to know who the killed person is or what the employer's motives are, this elf was not like that. A stone was set in the platinum ring. It was so dazzlingly scarlet that it made Albin's eyes ache from the unfamiliarity. The whole thing was etched with runes and very strange ornaments, possibly demonic. The youth tucked the ring into his pocket and continued on his way...
***
Two figures in austere robes leaned over the body.
- Do you think it was a contract?
- Most likely. This poor soul didn't even have time to be afraid. – The man closed the deceased's eyes – Rest in peace, brother Antifiy. Then he opened a book and read a prayer, while the second prepared the slain for burial on a pyre. Now the pyre was built. The men dragged the body over and set it alight, offering prayers to the gods. Then, having crossed themselves, they walked away.
***
In all cities, even in small settlements of dark elves, there are always entrances to dungeons through which they constantly maintain contact with one another. This is how dark elves transport troops and trade caravans, very rarely using the roads located on the surface. But even in their own dungeons, they are not sole rulers! Dwarves are arrogant and greedy creatures in the eyes of dark elves. "Do they believe that because they were the sole rulers of the dungeons for several centuries, it will continue forever?! Far from it," most dark elves think. This is precisely why the enmity between dark elves and dwarves is much stronger than with their forest brothers! And constant skirmishes in the dungeons with dwarves have become a common occurrence for dark elves.
So then. In one of the dungeons located on the school's territory, the exam was to take place.
Albin and the others were led into the dungeon. Despite the years spent at the school, this was the first time they had been allowed into the dungeon. Therefore, the elves looked around with interest. There was a mesmerizing beauty all around: hanging from the jagged ceiling of the cave, stalactites shimmered in every shade of purple – from pale lilac to practically black, so saturated the purple color became. All this hypnotized the imagination and frightened with the unknown. A secret presence of danger could be felt, sending a chill down Albin's spine. It seemed others felt something similar...
- Follow me! – a voice rang out from the darkness.
Everyone followed a strange figure who had a small hump and was clad in a tattered hooded cloak. The entire cavalcade gradually moved toward the Gladiators' Arena, where the exam was to be held...
None of them were sure they would survive; none of them were sure if they would have to fight a chaos hydra. Not knowing one's opponent in advance is one of the main conditions of the exam. Young graduates must be ready for anything, for battle with any opponent. At any time. And always. (There was an instance where one of the teachers warned his students about their upcoming trial. But soon this teacher was found killed in his own bed, and upon his students, who had already managed to develop a battle plan against the hydra, one of the captured rakshasas was unleashed, who slaughtered every single one.) None of them would have ever been cowards or run away...
The closer they got to the arena, the darker it became around them. There were no more sparkling crystal-stalactites here. Their guide pointed forward, and the students entered the arena. Its walls were studded with poisoned spikes; scraps of chains lay scattered here and there... And behind the elves' backs, a grate closed with a clang...
Each of the young elves had either a sword, or a pike, or some other weapon depending on the personal preferences of its owner. Additionally, each had a crossbow and a knife. The knife deserves special attention. Dark elf knives were perfectly balanced and sharpened. They could be thrown from any position – they would stick in regardless...
May the Mother of Shadows help you! – the old man in the cloak proclaimed loudly.
The opposite gates of the arena swung open, which could be told by the sound, and at first, the elves saw only a multitude of eyes. The clink of chains and a terrifying roar were heard – as the as-yet indistinguishable beast caught their scent... The lit torches had barely begun to flare up when the chains jingled piteously a second time and, gnashing its teeth, the chaos hydra rushed toward the young elves.
The hydra charged at them like a boulder cast from high mountains. None of them felt fear. Everyone knew what they were getting into. But the fury and speed with which the monster tore through the chains and launched its attack allowed it to strike before the elves could fully concentrate. Too fast and too close to have time to use crossbows...
Approaching, one of the hydra's heads lunged sharply to the side, grabbing one of the students. Its powerful jaws simply crushed the unfortunate man's bones, and the lifeless body fell to the ground.
With a professional dodge, Albin moved out of the attack line of another head and with a sharp swing of his blade pierced the hydra's belly. Blood gushed from the wound. The young elf was lucky that it wasn't a foul hydra, otherwise he would have simply received a powerful acid burn. Although what luck can one speak of here?... At that moment, the hydra grabbed another student by the leg and, sharply bending its neck, flung him onto the poisoned spikes protruding from the walls, where the young scout found his end. The monster truly lived up to its name – chaos reigned all around: everything was splattered with the blood of the slain, body parts, fragments of their weapons...
But Albin did not fear and did not retreat. He attacked the hydra again, for which he received a powerful blow from the tail that knocked him off his feet. The youth's body was wounded, strength was leaving him, but if he could survive now, he would survive later. Taking advantage of the moment – as the hydra was fighting off the others – Albin loaded his crossbow and fired. The bolt pierced the skull through and through, and one of the heads hung like dead weight. Roaring with fury and pain, the hydra tried to grab the youth with another head, but that one met the fate of the first – pierced by several bolts from other students at once, it ceased to be a danger.
One of the scouts successfully threw his spear, hitting the hydra in the heart. Feeling death approaching, it began to regenerate. The scout, thinking he had won, stepped too close to the hydra, intending to finish it off with a knife. This was a mistake that cost the young graduate his life; heads lunged toward him, grabbing and tearing the elf apart in the blink of an eye. But the crossbows were already reloaded. Not a single arrow missed. The monster roared in pain, and at that moment Albin appeared behind it. He jumped onto its back and plunged his sword in, continuously pushing it deeper into the flesh. The hydra collapsed onto the stones. Its heads still tried to reach the elves, but itself could not move from the spot. One more volley – and then all the heads fell lifelessly. The dark elves stood tired and wounded, but fortunately, the battle was over. They had won...
I highlighted the exam text in italics - I assume these are like memories... an excursion into the recent past of this young assassin...
Another question: is Albin's appearance and character being thought over? So far, I only know that he has pitch-black eyes and a sword as his favorite weapon. What color is his skin? And hair? Is it straight and long? Does the elf wear it loose or tie it in a ponytail (braid it)? In what else does he show talent and diligence besides professional warrior skills? Aptitude for magic, love of art (sculpting clay figures as a hobby in his spare time)...
It would be very good if the authors of the dark elf line think about such things and plan to gradually show us a complete portrait of the hero... so as not to cram everything into one paragraph. Then I will wait for the continuation. The main thing is that this doesn't slip from view...
PS: by the way, for your notes... synonyms for the word (name) Albin:
He
Graduate
Youth
hero
our hero
elf
dark elf
young elf
young warrior,
assassin,
hired killer...
...can be supplemented.
This is just to say that you shouldn't repeat the name Albin so often. There should be variety – then the text will be interesting to read. If, of course, you want others to read your text.
Simas.
Basically, I tried to piece everything together, taking some comments into account and editing it. Please review it. If something is in the wrong order or you don't like my additions – my apologies. It's just that there was one battle text and then a second pieced-together one... And your compilations have holes and inconsistencies. Honestly, I got confused about what goes where and how, what can and should be written in, and what to leave out. Combine, add... in short, I tried to account for the additions and assemble them into a whole. I edited the battle text. Extensively.
...And there was darkness. And time stopped. There was neither good nor evil, only that from which they were to be restored. And as the darkness began to thicken, a spark ignited in this cradle of life... A spark like the last star before dawn, losing, but fighting to the end. And the Gloom was defeated.
It burned with its gentle, pale flame. Slumbering... It still has a role to play. Later, much later than its birth...
...Much time passed, though how to say, since time is stopped. But the warmth and light from this spark created that which should change all of this...
Chapter One
The young elf Albin wiped blood from his sword. Recently at the school of the Invisible Hand, as a gifted student, he had been given an assassination contract for a decent reward. A certain woman was ready to pay up to 1000 coins for this task; depending on how the killing went. Now, beneath the shadow of a tree lay a man—reasonably well-dressed—at the feet of the elf, whose eyes were as black and bottomless as Silanna's. The last thing left to do – Albin flicked his knife, and in his hand remained a finger with this man's ring. Proof that he was killed.
Glenger is several days' journey away. Night had fallen, and our hero decided to spend the night at an inn. In the morning, after breakfast and watching a couple of brawls, the youth went into the city where he was expected. He needed to reach the passage underground within the day, and it would be easier from there.
On the way, Albin kept examining the signet ring. Although assassins are not supposed to know who the killed person is or what the employer's motives are, this elf was not like that. A stone was set in the platinum ring. It was so dazzlingly scarlet that it made Albin's eyes ache from the unfamiliarity. The whole thing was etched with runes and very strange ornaments, possibly demonic. The youth tucked the ring into his pocket and continued on his way...
***
Two figures in austere robes leaned over the body.
- Do you think it was a contract?
- Most likely. This poor soul didn't even have time to be afraid. – The man closed the deceased's eyes – Rest in peace, brother Antifiy. Then he opened a book and read a prayer, while the second prepared the slain for burial on a pyre. Now the pyre was built. The men dragged the body over and set it alight, offering prayers to the gods. Then, having crossed themselves, they walked away.
***
In all cities, even in small settlements of dark elves, there are always entrances to dungeons through which they constantly maintain contact with one another. This is how dark elves transport troops and trade caravans, very rarely using the roads located on the surface. But even in their own dungeons, they are not sole rulers! Dwarves are arrogant and greedy creatures in the eyes of dark elves. "Do they believe that because they were the sole rulers of the dungeons for several centuries, it will continue forever?! Far from it," most dark elves think. This is precisely why the enmity between dark elves and dwarves is much stronger than with their forest brothers! And constant skirmishes in the dungeons with dwarves have become a common occurrence for dark elves.
So then. In one of the dungeons located on the school's territory, the exam was to take place.
Albin and the others were led into the dungeon. Despite the years spent at the school, this was the first time they had been allowed into the dungeon. Therefore, the elves looked around with interest. There was a mesmerizing beauty all around: hanging from the jagged ceiling of the cave, stalactites shimmered in every shade of purple – from pale lilac to practically black, so saturated the purple color became. All this hypnotized the imagination and frightened with the unknown. A secret presence of danger could be felt, sending a chill down Albin's spine. It seemed others felt something similar...
- Follow me! – a voice rang out from the darkness.
Everyone followed a strange figure who had a small hump and was clad in a tattered hooded cloak. The entire cavalcade gradually moved toward the Gladiators' Arena, where the exam was to be held...
None of them were sure they would survive; none of them were sure if they would have to fight a chaos hydra. Not knowing one's opponent in advance is one of the main conditions of the exam. Young graduates must be ready for anything, for battle with any opponent. At any time. And always. (There was an instance where one of the teachers warned his students about their upcoming trial. But soon this teacher was found killed in his own bed, and upon his students, who had already managed to develop a battle plan against the hydra, one of the captured rakshasas was unleashed, who slaughtered every single one.) None of them would have ever been cowards or run away...
The closer they got to the arena, the darker it became around them. There were no more sparkling crystal-stalactites here. Their guide pointed forward, and the students entered the arena. Its walls were studded with poisoned spikes; scraps of chains lay scattered here and there... And behind the elves' backs, a grate closed with a clang...
Each of the young elves had either a sword, or a pike, or some other weapon depending on the personal preferences of its owner. Additionally, each had a crossbow and a knife. The knife deserves special attention. Dark elf knives were perfectly balanced and sharpened. They could be thrown from any position – they would stick in regardless...
May the Mother of Shadows help you! – the old man in the cloak proclaimed loudly.
The opposite gates of the arena swung open, which could be told by the sound, and at first, the elves saw only a multitude of eyes. The clink of chains and a terrifying roar were heard – as the as-yet indistinguishable beast caught their scent... The lit torches had barely begun to flare up when the chains jingled piteously a second time and, gnashing its teeth, the chaos hydra rushed toward the young elves.
The hydra charged at them like a boulder cast from high mountains. None of them felt fear. Everyone knew what they were getting into. But the fury and speed with which the monster tore through the chains and launched its attack allowed it to strike before the elves could fully concentrate. Too fast and too close to have time to use crossbows...
Approaching, one of the hydra's heads lunged sharply to the side, grabbing one of the students. Its powerful jaws simply crushed the unfortunate man's bones, and the lifeless body fell to the ground.
With a professional dodge, Albin moved out of the attack line of another head and with a sharp swing of his blade pierced the hydra's belly. Blood gushed from the wound. The young elf was lucky that it wasn't a foul hydra, otherwise he would have simply received a powerful acid burn. Although what luck can one speak of here?... At that moment, the hydra grabbed another student by the leg and, sharply bending its neck, flung him onto the poisoned spikes protruding from the walls, where the young scout found his end. The monster truly lived up to its name – chaos reigned all around: everything was splattered with the blood of the slain, body parts, fragments of their weapons...
But Albin did not fear and did not retreat. He attacked the hydra again, for which he received a powerful blow from the tail that knocked him off his feet. The youth's body was wounded, strength was leaving him, but if he could survive now, he would survive later. Taking advantage of the moment – as the hydra was fighting off the others – Albin loaded his crossbow and fired. The bolt pierced the skull through and through, and one of the heads hung like dead weight. Roaring with fury and pain, the hydra tried to grab the youth with another head, but that one met the fate of the first – pierced by several bolts from other students at once, it ceased to be a danger.
One of the scouts successfully threw his spear, hitting the hydra in the heart. Feeling death approaching, it began to regenerate. The scout, thinking he had won, stepped too close to the hydra, intending to finish it off with a knife. This was a mistake that cost the young graduate his life; heads lunged toward him, grabbing and tearing the elf apart in the blink of an eye. But the crossbows were already reloaded. Not a single arrow missed. The monster roared in pain, and at that moment Albin appeared behind it. He jumped onto its back and plunged his sword in, continuously pushing it deeper into the flesh. The hydra collapsed onto the stones. Its heads still tried to reach the elves, but itself could not move from the spot. One more volley – and then all the heads fell lifelessly. The dark elves stood tired and wounded, but fortunately, the battle was over. They had won...
I highlighted the exam text in italics - I assume these are like memories... an excursion into the recent past of this young assassin...
Another question: is Albin's appearance and character being thought over? So far, I only know that he has pitch-black eyes and a sword as his favorite weapon. What color is his skin? And hair? Is it straight and long? Does the elf wear it loose or tie it in a ponytail (braid it)? In what else does he show talent and diligence besides professional warrior skills? Aptitude for magic, love of art (sculpting clay figures as a hobby in his spare time)...
It would be very good if the authors of the dark elf line think about such things and plan to gradually show us a complete portrait of the hero... so as not to cram everything into one paragraph. Then I will wait for the continuation. The main thing is that this doesn't slip from view...
PS: by the way, for your notes... synonyms for the word (name) Albin:
He
Graduate
Youth
hero
our hero
elf
dark elf
young elf
young warrior,
assassin,
hired killer...
...can be supplemented.
This is just to say that you shouldn't repeat the name Albin so often. There should be variety – then the text will be interesting to read. If, of course, you want others to read your text.
Simas.