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It's Grodd, not Groll, actually. We've come to this—one of Flash's most famous enemies isn't even recognized...
A Very Important Opinion on the neutral designs based on what I could make out:
🧚♀️ Little Fairy 🧚♀️ - 10/10. Pleasant colors, harmonious design, moderately classic, moderately fresh. Even the same-old crappy graphics don't ruin her much. If all units were redesigned like this, I wouldn't even open my foul mouth and would just sit in a corner being happy.
👨🌾 Peasant 🐷 - 3/10. Very funny and overloaded. Why does he have a bale of straw on his back? Why is there a pig in his hand? What's the point of all this? As an NPC model—gorgeous. As a unit on the battlefield—ridiculous and stupid.
🧟♂️ Ghoul 🧟♂️ - 7/10. Reminded me of something from Disciples, which is why it worked. A cool monstrosity. Slightly awkward, but cool.
🐰 Hobbit 🐰 - 1/10. The design was completely ripped off from the third game, and they even messed up the proportions, so instead of a hobbit, we got some kind of crooked half-gnome. The sling looks more like a grocery bag from the nearest Pyaterochka.
🦾 Nature Warrior 🌿 - 6/10. I have a hard time imagining such a unit in the world of Heroes, but if you tell me it's some kind of armored dendroid—I can live with that. The design isn't the most botched. And well, I love all sorts of plant-nature things, for what it's worth.
🦍 Gorilla Grodd, oh, sorry, gorilla groll 🦍 - 2/10. "Mom, I want a hippo," "Son, we have a hippo at home." Originality for the sake of originality. How many limbs does it have? Six? Seriously, they could have just made a little hippo and I would've forgiven them everything. And Grodd is actually cool; I really love that villain.
😺 Kittenicorn 🦄 - 0/10 in Heroes and 9/10 in any other game (okay, any other game except Disciples, but kittenicorns as elite units for the Legions or Hordes are better than the third part and "forgive-me-Berezhen Liberation"). On the model, the eyes and paws are poorly painted, killing all the cuteness and making it look like a cross-eyed long-eared rat of tea color. But my main grievance with the unit is that this creature would be much better suited as Twilight Sparkle's or Celestia's pet than as a combat unit in far-off Heroes. It would have fit well even in King's Bounty—the Princess had a similarly cute little dragon, and overall the graphics and designs are much more fairytale-cartoonish-bright-cute than even in Heroes II.
🌠 Exhibitionism Elemental 2.0 🌠 - 9/10. I just love things like this; I even like the Radiance in the sixth game. The only thing is—why is she so curvy? First, ghosts with maximum-sized busts, then human priestesses of love with slits to the waist and cleavage to the navel, and now these elementals with a figure Kim Kardashian would envy. Only the succubi from the fifth game with glowing privates were more epic, but at least their proportions weren't so provocative.
🌺 Bloom-flower 🌺 - 7/10. Not thrilled, but no complaints either. After all, there were hives in the fourth game.
🦄 Unicorns! (c) 🦄 - 5/10. On one hand, they just blatantly ripped off the design again. On the other hand, in the classic parts, the unicorn design didn't change much (except for the rainbow ponies in the fourth), so I don't see the point in reinventing the wheel either. Thirdly—I don't like it when a unicorn is just a horse with a horn (sorry, Twae and Rero, you guys are allowed, you're the best); please give me cloven hooves, a tufted tail, longer ears, and all that. Fourthly—well, it turned out to be a beautiful horse. Idk, there's nothing to praise, but I don't really want to criticize either.
🐸 Toad 🐸 - 8/10. I want the swamp. Why did everyone forget about the swamp? One of my favorite castles in the third game, by the way. Eh, nobody loves the swamp. Ribbit. But the toad itself is fine. Not super, but not terrible.
🦋 Fairy Dragon ✨ - 9/10. It subtly feels like something from Warcraft III; I think the night elves had a similar unit. Otherwise—no complaints, very good; if all units were redesigned like this, I wouldn't even open my foul mouth and would just sit in a corner being happy (2).
🐍 Coatl 🦜 - 7/10. Now this is what we need! Exactly the kind of originality, exactly those new ideas that could refresh the usual unit cast without killing the game's atmosphere with excessive originality. Plus, it would go into my favorite little swamp. Why such a low score? I don't really like the design; it looks somehow insignificant. Like a stringy piece of twine. The body should be plumper, the wings fluffier...
🤺 Blue Knight 🤺 - 4/10. Idk what this is. Nothing to praise, nothing to criticize, an incomprehensible unit, the image isn't read well, but I don't see anything dramatically terrible in it either. It's unclear—is it undead, some kind of golem, some human, maybe a titan? Who, how, why?
🟡 Spherical sphere in a vacuum 🟡 - 0/10. The hill I intend to die on is that the sci-fi part of the setting should be introduced into the Heroes series gradually, very skillfully, very carefully, thoughtfully and beautifully. Far more people played Heroes than MM; not everyone knows the same lore, many perceive the game as purely fantasy. The fact that we have sci-fi and pew-pew lasers here is supposed to be a PLOT TWIST!!! Such units could have been established as bosses in campaigns—Heroes VI had this feature where these bosses stayed in specific locations, didn't spawn on regular maps, and didn't spoil the surprise. In the right setting, I would have accepted this sphere and even praised it. But as an ordinary generic unit—it's just... meh, very questionable.
👼 Angel Lady 👼 - 0/10 in Enroth and 10/10 in Ashan. Guys, here it's either a cross or panties. Angels in the classic parts are buff guys in robes a la Ancient Greece (III) or medieval knight armor (IV), and they're actually robots. Graceful creatures of indeterminate gender in flowing dresses to the ground with two swords—that is "spherical Ashan in a vacuum." No, technically such angels could exist in the classics; who knows what kind of robots can be built, but this is a specific failure in style and atmosphere, on the level of the kittenicorn. Don't do that. But overall, the unit is cute.
🐲 Purple Dragon 🐲 - 3/10. Until I put a black dragon next to it, I thought they were the same unit. Ah, oh, the horns are a different color and shape. At the proposed scale of units—that's not a significant detail. In the classic parts, each dragon was drenched in its own bright color, clearly distinct from others. In the third game, there were green, gold, red, black, beige, white, wingless red, brown, purple, and blue dragons. At the same time, the wingless red dragon (crystalline), thanks to a different silhouette and, well, lack of wings, stood out very clearly from the actual red one. But here on a small map, it's hard to tell a dark-purple dragon with gold trinkets apart from a black-purple dragon with gold trinkets. That is just bad.
🧟♂️ Dracolich Gorynych 🐲 - 9/10. Fine. Actually outright good even. This is also successful originality. They can do it when they want to. Why they kicked them out into the cold and shoved a vampire onto the seventh level for the necrophiles, history remains silent. In my understanding, vampires just don't pull off the seventh level. Maybe fifth, maybe with a huge stretch sixth, but right on the edge of fifth, like the sultry elf witches in the fifth game. And here, bone dragons would finally be great again; they already have a reputation as one of the most botched seventh-level units.
👾 Unknown fucking thing 👾 - 3/10. Scary, very scary, we don't know what it is, if we knew what it was, we wouldn't know what it is. But the color is beautiful; I love magenta.
To summarize—there are cool successful finds, there are half-baked ideas, there is complete pointless garbage on lean oil, and there are poorly thought out and integrated things. It could have been worse, but it could have been much, much, muuuuuch better.
A Very Important Opinion on the neutral designs based on what I could make out:
🧚♀️ Little Fairy 🧚♀️ - 10/10. Pleasant colors, harmonious design, moderately classic, moderately fresh. Even the same-old crappy graphics don't ruin her much. If all units were redesigned like this, I wouldn't even open my foul mouth and would just sit in a corner being happy.
👨🌾 Peasant 🐷 - 3/10. Very funny and overloaded. Why does he have a bale of straw on his back? Why is there a pig in his hand? What's the point of all this? As an NPC model—gorgeous. As a unit on the battlefield—ridiculous and stupid.
🧟♂️ Ghoul 🧟♂️ - 7/10. Reminded me of something from Disciples, which is why it worked. A cool monstrosity. Slightly awkward, but cool.
🐰 Hobbit 🐰 - 1/10. The design was completely ripped off from the third game, and they even messed up the proportions, so instead of a hobbit, we got some kind of crooked half-gnome. The sling looks more like a grocery bag from the nearest Pyaterochka.
🦾 Nature Warrior 🌿 - 6/10. I have a hard time imagining such a unit in the world of Heroes, but if you tell me it's some kind of armored dendroid—I can live with that. The design isn't the most botched. And well, I love all sorts of plant-nature things, for what it's worth.
🦍 Gorilla Grodd, oh, sorry, gorilla groll 🦍 - 2/10. "Mom, I want a hippo," "Son, we have a hippo at home." Originality for the sake of originality. How many limbs does it have? Six? Seriously, they could have just made a little hippo and I would've forgiven them everything. And Grodd is actually cool; I really love that villain.
😺 Kittenicorn 🦄 - 0/10 in Heroes and 9/10 in any other game (okay, any other game except Disciples, but kittenicorns as elite units for the Legions or Hordes are better than the third part and "forgive-me-Berezhen Liberation"). On the model, the eyes and paws are poorly painted, killing all the cuteness and making it look like a cross-eyed long-eared rat of tea color. But my main grievance with the unit is that this creature would be much better suited as Twilight Sparkle's or Celestia's pet than as a combat unit in far-off Heroes. It would have fit well even in King's Bounty—the Princess had a similarly cute little dragon, and overall the graphics and designs are much more fairytale-cartoonish-bright-cute than even in Heroes II.
🌠 Exhibitionism Elemental 2.0 🌠 - 9/10. I just love things like this; I even like the Radiance in the sixth game. The only thing is—why is she so curvy? First, ghosts with maximum-sized busts, then human priestesses of love with slits to the waist and cleavage to the navel, and now these elementals with a figure Kim Kardashian would envy. Only the succubi from the fifth game with glowing privates were more epic, but at least their proportions weren't so provocative.
🌺 Bloom-flower 🌺 - 7/10. Not thrilled, but no complaints either. After all, there were hives in the fourth game.
🦄 Unicorns! (c) 🦄 - 5/10. On one hand, they just blatantly ripped off the design again. On the other hand, in the classic parts, the unicorn design didn't change much (except for the rainbow ponies in the fourth), so I don't see the point in reinventing the wheel either. Thirdly—I don't like it when a unicorn is just a horse with a horn (sorry, Twae and Rero, you guys are allowed, you're the best); please give me cloven hooves, a tufted tail, longer ears, and all that. Fourthly—well, it turned out to be a beautiful horse. Idk, there's nothing to praise, but I don't really want to criticize either.
🐸 Toad 🐸 - 8/10. I want the swamp. Why did everyone forget about the swamp? One of my favorite castles in the third game, by the way. Eh, nobody loves the swamp. Ribbit. But the toad itself is fine. Not super, but not terrible.
🦋 Fairy Dragon ✨ - 9/10. It subtly feels like something from Warcraft III; I think the night elves had a similar unit. Otherwise—no complaints, very good; if all units were redesigned like this, I wouldn't even open my foul mouth and would just sit in a corner being happy (2).
🐍 Coatl 🦜 - 7/10. Now this is what we need! Exactly the kind of originality, exactly those new ideas that could refresh the usual unit cast without killing the game's atmosphere with excessive originality. Plus, it would go into my favorite little swamp. Why such a low score? I don't really like the design; it looks somehow insignificant. Like a stringy piece of twine. The body should be plumper, the wings fluffier...
🤺 Blue Knight 🤺 - 4/10. Idk what this is. Nothing to praise, nothing to criticize, an incomprehensible unit, the image isn't read well, but I don't see anything dramatically terrible in it either. It's unclear—is it undead, some kind of golem, some human, maybe a titan? Who, how, why?
🟡 Spherical sphere in a vacuum 🟡 - 0/10. The hill I intend to die on is that the sci-fi part of the setting should be introduced into the Heroes series gradually, very skillfully, very carefully, thoughtfully and beautifully. Far more people played Heroes than MM; not everyone knows the same lore, many perceive the game as purely fantasy. The fact that we have sci-fi and pew-pew lasers here is supposed to be a PLOT TWIST!!! Such units could have been established as bosses in campaigns—Heroes VI had this feature where these bosses stayed in specific locations, didn't spawn on regular maps, and didn't spoil the surprise. In the right setting, I would have accepted this sphere and even praised it. But as an ordinary generic unit—it's just... meh, very questionable.
👼 Angel Lady 👼 - 0/10 in Enroth and 10/10 in Ashan. Guys, here it's either a cross or panties. Angels in the classic parts are buff guys in robes a la Ancient Greece (III) or medieval knight armor (IV), and they're actually robots. Graceful creatures of indeterminate gender in flowing dresses to the ground with two swords—that is "spherical Ashan in a vacuum." No, technically such angels could exist in the classics; who knows what kind of robots can be built, but this is a specific failure in style and atmosphere, on the level of the kittenicorn. Don't do that. But overall, the unit is cute.
🐲 Purple Dragon 🐲 - 3/10. Until I put a black dragon next to it, I thought they were the same unit. Ah, oh, the horns are a different color and shape. At the proposed scale of units—that's not a significant detail. In the classic parts, each dragon was drenched in its own bright color, clearly distinct from others. In the third game, there were green, gold, red, black, beige, white, wingless red, brown, purple, and blue dragons. At the same time, the wingless red dragon (crystalline), thanks to a different silhouette and, well, lack of wings, stood out very clearly from the actual red one. But here on a small map, it's hard to tell a dark-purple dragon with gold trinkets apart from a black-purple dragon with gold trinkets. That is just bad.
🧟♂️ Dracolich Gorynych 🐲 - 9/10. Fine. Actually outright good even. This is also successful originality. They can do it when they want to. Why they kicked them out into the cold and shoved a vampire onto the seventh level for the necrophiles, history remains silent. In my understanding, vampires just don't pull off the seventh level. Maybe fifth, maybe with a huge stretch sixth, but right on the edge of fifth, like the sultry elf witches in the fifth game. And here, bone dragons would finally be great again; they already have a reputation as one of the most botched seventh-level units.
👾 Unknown fucking thing 👾 - 3/10. Scary, very scary, we don't know what it is, if we knew what it was, we wouldn't know what it is. But the color is beautiful; I love magenta.
To summarize—there are cool successful finds, there are half-baked ideas, there is complete pointless garbage on lean oil, and there are poorly thought out and integrated things. It could have been worse, but it could have been much, much, muuuuuch better.
А, вот почему.
🏹🎪+⛓️♿=💕
🏹🎪+⛓️♿=💕