No, this isn't "whining," it's just pure gameplay interest. I'm trying to understand the "mechanics"...
Well... usually, obsessively grinding for stats/experience leads to frustration sooner or later. You gain something, you lose something, even if you think everything is going according to plan. Somewhere, you'll inevitably lose unexpectedly, but somewhere, you'll gain (just as unexpectedly). In general, don't focus on that specifically; life is an unpredictable thing. The main thing is to keep your character alive. It's a long journey, but overall, it's worth it.