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Sacred Haven of Debauchery

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I didn't drive a Mercedes at age 5, nor did I earn 300,000 wood per second, but the bakery appeared back then. Later, when I visited friends and played on their Dendy/Sega consoles, I was amazed at how much worse the games were compared to even those from the Windows 95 era, and how unpleasant it was to develop blisters from the cheap, tight, and constantly breaking joysticks. But I still played, what else was there to do?
My sword, my trusted ally, unphased by my aspect.