The feeling of being lonely is mistaken for aloneness. As soon as you realize that aloneness is not the same as loneliness, everything changes. Aloneness is a state of being that is full of beauty and wonder, a state of positivity. Loneliness, on the other hand, is a state of emptiness and negativity. It is a feeling of being cut off from the world, of being alone in a vast and uncaring universe. When you are lonely, you feel like something is missing. You feel like you need something to fill the void, but nothing ever seems to work. This is because loneliness is a false state, a state that is based on a misunderstanding of what it means to be human. As you get older, the gap between aloneness and loneliness grows wider. Those who have learned to embrace aloneness say that it is the most beautiful and peaceful state of being. They say that there is nothing more joyful than being alone with oneself.
Aloneness is the ultimate reality. We come into the world alone, and we leave it alone. In between, we create all sorts of relationships and attachments, but these are all just ways of avoiding the truth: that we are ultimately alone. But aloneness is not something to be feared. It is something to be embraced. It is a state of being that is full of potential. There are two words that are often used interchangeably, but which have very different meanings: aloneness and loneliness. Aloneness is a positive state of being, while loneliness is a negative state of being. Aloneness is a state of being at peace with oneself, while loneliness is a state of feeling isolated and disconnected from the world.
To be alone is not to be lonely. To be alone is to be free. To be alone is to be able to connect with oneself on a deeper level. To be alone is to be able to find peace and happiness within oneself. We are born alone, we live alone, and we die alone. Aloneness is our natural state, but we often try to avoid it. We fill our lives with distractions, with relationships, with work, with possessions, all in an attempt to escape the feeling of being alone. But the more we try to escape aloneness, the more we find ourselves running away from ourselves. Those who have learned to embrace aloneness say that it is the most beautiful and peaceful state of being. They say that there is nothing more joyful than being alone with oneself. The ordinary person tries to avoid being alone, but the meditator seeks it out. The meditator sits in silence, alone with his or her thoughts, and in this silence, he or she finds peace and happiness. The meditator knows that aloneness is not something to be feared, but something to be embraced. Those who have learned to embrace aloneness have found the greatest bliss that is possible for human beings. They have found that the self is not something to be feared, but something to be loved. They have found that the self is the source of all joy and happiness.
When you find yourself, you find the meaning of life. You find the purpose of life. You find the joy of life. You find the beauty of life. To find yourself is the greatest discovery that a person can make, and it is a discovery that can only be made when you are alone. When your mind is free from all distractions, when your mind is empty, it is then that you can begin to see the truth about yourself. And the truth is that you are a beautiful and wonderful being, full of potential. But the first step is to learn to be alone. To learn to be comfortable with your own company. To learn to love yourself. Once you have learned to love yourself, you will be able to love others. You will be able to connect with others in a way that is deep and meaningful. You will be able to create relationships that are based on love and respect. But the first step is to learn to be alone. To learn to be comfortable with your own company. To learn to love yourself. This is the most important thing you can do in your life. It is the key to happiness and fulfillment. Jesus said:
"Blessed are those who are alone, for they shall find the kingdom of heaven."
This is the experience that all mystics have been seeking for centuries. It is the experience of being alone with God. It is the experience of being one with the universe. It is the experience of being completely and utterly at peace. This experience transforms your entire outlook on life. It changes the way you see the world. It changes the way you see yourself. It changes the way you relate to others. When you have had this experience, you will never be the same again. You will be a new person, a person who is full of love and joy and peace. You will be a person who is connected to the divine. You will be a person who is living in the present moment. You will be a person who is free from fear. You will be a person who is living a life of purpose and meaning. Because of this experience, the prophets of the Upanishads declared people to be amritasya putra – “sons and daughters of immortality.” Until you recognize yourself as an immortal being, a part of the whole, you will remain in fear of death. The fear of death exists simply because you are not aware of the eternal source of life. Once you become aware of the eternity of your being, death becomes the greatest lie in existence.
Death has never happened, is not happening, and will never happen, because what is, always remains – in different forms, at different levels, but there is no break in the continuity. Eternity in the past and eternity in the future belong to you. And the present becomes the point of meeting of two eternities: one pointing towards the past, and the other towards the future. The memory of aloneness should not only be in the mind; every fiber of your being, every cell of your body should remember it – not as a word, but as a deep feeling. To forget oneself is the sin, the only one of all possible sins, and to remember oneself is the only virtue.
Osho