Funny stories from our lives.

We had a free computer science class; the teacher had to leave for urgent business, and we were left in the classroom. So, we started playing Unreal Tournament – 100 frags, a medium-sized arena, 8 people. We were all engrossed in the game, yelling and cheering, and it was so loud that people on the first floor could hear us. In the neighboring classroom, there was a meeting of teachers from other villages. The assistant principal came out and said to us: "You guys, I gave you some freedom, and you don't respect me or this school; you're making your teacher look bad..." and so on. He scolded us, then said quietly: "Just sit here for a bit; I'll take them to the auditorium in 10 minutes, okay?"
***
My friend calls me:
- Where are you?
- I've been at the bus stop for a while.
- Oh, okay, I'll be right there.
... - I'm here, where are you?
- I went to the store.
- Oh, I need to buy some tea too. Wait for me there.
... - You're not there!
- I'm right here at the entrance.
Now I'm calling him:
- How long am I going to have to wait?!
- Don't be an idiot, you're not at the entrance!!! And you're not at the exit!!! And you're not in the store!!!
- I'm telling you...
- Are you at the first bus stop before the bridge?
- Yes, I'm here! I'll go to the traffic light...
- There's no traffic light here! Wait... Which side of the bridge are you on?
***
We have a guy in our class named Baranov. We were having a gathering, and we were supposed to go to the shooting range. So, as usual, we lined up and marched back and forth. Then there was a report.
- Squad leader Baranov...
We didn't let him finish his report because we were laughing...
***
New Year's Eve, skits, costumes. A familiar guy comes up, and we chat back and forth. Then we ask him, "What are you going to be for New Year's?" He says, "A moose." We say to him, "You're such a deer!"