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That day, Kir decided to turn in early, and it didn't take long for him to realize that was a mistake: after dozing for about two hours, he got up to answer nature's call, and after that, the guides to the realm of dreams no longer deigned to invite him into their kingdom. Intrusive thoughts became the inevitable consequence of his inability to fall asleep — thoughts, like parasites, burrowed into his brain. He was weighed down by the fact that in his life he had achieved nothing of real substance and, it seemed, never would. His life, as he saw it, was at its zenith — and from here on out, it would only get worse, for he wasn't getting any younger. Of course, he had high attributes and a multitude of useful skills, but what good were they if they were only high in comparison to the average man?
Sometimes Kir imagined bursting into the palace, chopping off King Tiozar's head, and becoming the sole ruler of Asuguh himself, and years later, the south would boast the Asuguh Empire he had founded — much like the legendary Velfern Empire. He and his wondrous troops would first crush Calcite, and then the other neighbors. A thousand years later, bookstores and libraries would be overflowing with tales of him and his descendants.
All of this, however, was merely the childish fantasies of a wandering knight that had persisted into adulthood — and he knew it all too well. In reality, he harbored no ill will toward the king, and if any emotion toward him prevailed in his heart, it was pity. Kir was one of the few who knew the king's circumstances; he considered him a madman and sometimes even wondered — could he be a lost apostle of Aconia? That thought was foolish, for not a single apostle of Aconia remained in this world by this day. Nor could he dislike the king for knowing the stories of the country's protectors. He had rescued Ferrari from slave traders; he had found Britomarta in the forests of Farella — still just a girl, she had grown up among the local bibizians and knew nothing of human society until she met him; for Baka, he had been an idol since youth after the king's reforms saved his family from poverty. There were many such stories, and that only made it sadder to see what this man had become over time.
It wasn't Kir's place to judge, though. Asuguh was not a land of knights, and even his title was merely a manifestation of a blind fascination with foreign culture. In his appearance, thoughts, and deeds, Kir strove to embody the image of an ideal knight, but he held no official title. Therefore, he sometimes sank into sessions of self-flagellation, lamenting that he was nothing but an impostor. Moreover, despite being no longer of youthful age, he was still unmarried, and all his past romantic relationships had been extinguished by his own hand — his interest in potential brides faded faster than a campfire on a rainy day. He enjoyed traveling, defeating strong opponents, and performing feats of valor, whereas relationships seemed tiresome to him.
An important thought surfaced in the knight's mind — why, exactly, was he pondering all this instead of sleeping and restoring his strength? With a heavy sigh, he rose from the bed and took the sword hanging on the wall into his hands — it was already too late to try to fall asleep.
- You are my only friend, Karabion. Forgive me for not living up to your expectations.
Having gathered himself, he set off into the city and at 5:59 stood at the doorstep of Ushumgallu's house. After waiting a minute, he began pounding on the door with his fist.
Sometimes Kir imagined bursting into the palace, chopping off King Tiozar's head, and becoming the sole ruler of Asuguh himself, and years later, the south would boast the Asuguh Empire he had founded — much like the legendary Velfern Empire. He and his wondrous troops would first crush Calcite, and then the other neighbors. A thousand years later, bookstores and libraries would be overflowing with tales of him and his descendants.
All of this, however, was merely the childish fantasies of a wandering knight that had persisted into adulthood — and he knew it all too well. In reality, he harbored no ill will toward the king, and if any emotion toward him prevailed in his heart, it was pity. Kir was one of the few who knew the king's circumstances; he considered him a madman and sometimes even wondered — could he be a lost apostle of Aconia? That thought was foolish, for not a single apostle of Aconia remained in this world by this day. Nor could he dislike the king for knowing the stories of the country's protectors. He had rescued Ferrari from slave traders; he had found Britomarta in the forests of Farella — still just a girl, she had grown up among the local bibizians and knew nothing of human society until she met him; for Baka, he had been an idol since youth after the king's reforms saved his family from poverty. There were many such stories, and that only made it sadder to see what this man had become over time.
It wasn't Kir's place to judge, though. Asuguh was not a land of knights, and even his title was merely a manifestation of a blind fascination with foreign culture. In his appearance, thoughts, and deeds, Kir strove to embody the image of an ideal knight, but he held no official title. Therefore, he sometimes sank into sessions of self-flagellation, lamenting that he was nothing but an impostor. Moreover, despite being no longer of youthful age, he was still unmarried, and all his past romantic relationships had been extinguished by his own hand — his interest in potential brides faded faster than a campfire on a rainy day. He enjoyed traveling, defeating strong opponents, and performing feats of valor, whereas relationships seemed tiresome to him.
An important thought surfaced in the knight's mind — why, exactly, was he pondering all this instead of sleeping and restoring his strength? With a heavy sigh, he rose from the bed and took the sword hanging on the wall into his hands — it was already too late to try to fall asleep.
- You are my only friend, Karabion. Forgive me for not living up to your expectations.
Having gathered himself, he set off into the city and at 5:59 stood at the doorstep of Ushumgallu's house. After waiting a minute, he began pounding on the door with his fist.