🍁Nine Ancient Obelisks

"What kind of toadstool did you foist on me here," Erica would have said if she were the Toadstool...

- His name is Jack, - answered Erica. After that, she went outside to talk to the mushroom. Beforehand, she chose a secluded spot so as not to shock anyone with such conversations...

- Hey, Jack, can you hear me? Can you really talk? - asked Erica.

Having received its own name, the magic mushroom blossomed after some time — its stipe seemed to thicken, and a mouth, eyes, and even tiny arms and legs appeared on it. 

However... Contrary to its cute appearance, its tongue turned out to be quite the opposite. 
- What kind of Jack *****? Are you out of your mind at all? Or do you enjoy mocking those weaker than you? ***** well, how am I supposed to live with this name now? Could've been someone like Akkad Babbar syn Zababa mer Lahara or "Richard Dragonheart" at the very least, but no — I'm Jack, apparently. Jack. Do you understand? Now I have to live my whole toadstool life with this name. The only way out of such a hopeless situation is to gouge out my eye, put an eyepatch on it, and become a pirate. That's it. I have no other options.