Heroist
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- I have the audacity to believe that I already know you well enough, which is why I didn't fall for it... - Saneksochka first smiled at Klyn, who had been voiced, but then her expression darkened. - Remember how I didn't tell you the reasons for my strange behavior when we went to Kamimori?.. I think now is the most appropriate moment for me to explain myself. - Sighing heavily, she looked toward the sky, then the ground, then around, for a long time hesitating to translate her thoughts into verbal format. - Klyn, I feel defiled. After everything that happened to me on board the "Thunder" during the final months of its voyage, I cannot stop feeling inadequate compared to normal women. I'm not a fool and I understand where our relationship is heading, but sometimes I wonder—do I even deserve you?.. Especially since... - Placing her hand on her stomach, she did not find the courage to meet her companion's gaze. - This is... You... You deserve better.
—..Are you asking if you deserve me? —he finally muttered, turning toward the woman, then suddenly gave a grimacing smirk. —Funny! Because the trouble is that it's actually quite the opposite. Since today is a day of revelations, it would be fair to answer you with the same sincerity; here, look. —Tearing out a written page from the logbook, he hands it to her. —Everyone in this life who dared to bring you sorrow didn't last even a couple of months. Apparently, their deed was so sinful that it shook the very foundations of the Mother Goddess, and this is a deserved, albeit too swift, punishment. But for some reason, the culprit was not punished enough and still treads upon Anuzish soil. You probably won't understand now, but listen to me. The main darkness is not in causing evil; it is in concealing good. When you read the love story of the pre-pre-emperor, did you notice the faceless NPC bandits who didn't even have a name? No, you remembered the ruler himself, who selflessly took the risks and went to rescue his allies and subjects without help. Do you remember our old conversation in the moon park, when I told you that a person who abandons comrades in distress is nothing more than a piece of filth? Well, that's generally how it is. And our second meeting and "rescue" were simply factors of chance, having nothing to do with my deeds. That is your "deserved" chosen one.
Not knowing how to continue, he remained silent for a moment.
—Today I went into Kamimori not only to avoid taxes through promised donations, ha-ha. I would have gone to Father Eugene; he was able to read my soul very well last time, but... well, you know... In fact, my main question over the last few months has been—do I even have the moral "right" after everything to feel special feelings for you? Feelings other than guilt and duty, which I can never repay or atone for? Does a person like me deserve anything more with you after everything I've condemned you to? It seemed to me that the L-word from my lips would sound so soulless, so unnatural, that I have no right to use it at all; you can check my lines since August.
—That's why, Saneksa, however clumsy it may sound coming from me... Please, do not speak of yourself this way. "Defilement" is the result of a conscious decision, which you did not make, unlike me. You are the brightest and purest person I have ever met. Even if the whole world with its soul-rending abilities doesn't see it, I know well that your radiance managed to melt even the eternal ice of my lifeless shell, something I myself most certainly "did not deserve." Were it not for you, I would have long since self-destructed at the bottom of the ocean and my blue soul would have flown into another character. If you wish, I will find you the best healers for mental wounds, physical ones, or whatever else. If you want, I'll find sorcerers to eternally seal your memories of this black event. If you desire, I will build you a "Thunder" fleet with my own hands where you will become the greatest admiral, and mile by mile we will wind the whole world around our sails. You are more "complete" than all female characters put together, and I will do everything in my power so that one day you can say this to yourself with confidence. ...As for "this," hm... Whatever you wish, so shall it be. And in the future, in the future well... this... It's possible that not only... Well, anyway, we'll see.
Finishing this awkward monologue, he exhaled heavily and coughed up pieces of his soul.
Whatever