☀️ Arselia and Akonia

Minako earnestly asks Beata to take off her shoes and leads her to the haiden, where they can be alone, away from the rest of the world. 
- You can start. We don't have any strict rules, so tell me in whatever format you feel comfortable. 

Beata takes off her shoes, gathers her thoughts, takes a deep breath, and lowers her gaze.

 - I... I'm a terrible person.

After a pause, she continues:

 - For most of my life, I've been nothing but trouble. I haven't done a single good thing. I've only caused problems for everyone I've met, and sometimes... - she sighs and waves her hand. - I've done so many terrible... so many awful things that listing them all would take an entire day. I've always been alone, and no one cared about me. If the world doesn't care about me, why should I care about it? - she gives a bitter smile. - But that's not an excuse. I... I guess I just didn't bother, I couldn't and didn't want to live any other way. It worked, and that was enough for me. I even...

She glances at the exit, behind which, as she knew, her beloved was leaning against the wall - though not trying to eavesdrop.

 - My meeting with Guion... He... I... I took advantage of his vulnerable state, and he had no choice but to go along with me, - she carefully chooses her words, preserving the essence. - And I pressured him and continued to exploit him because he had no choice. Now he has a choice; he can do whatever he wants with his life, but he's still with me. I'm grateful to him for that, but sometimes I feel like I don't deserve such treatment. Especially from him. He's the best person I've ever met, and I don't feel worthy of him.

She takes a breath.

 - Anyway... Not too long ago, I decided to change my life. I started to value people more, made friends - you could even say I found a family. And... I like it. I like making people happy; their joy and smiles turned out to be much more valuable to me than all my previous gains, acquired by causing others harm. I'm doing everything I can to... balance out my past? To try to bring as much joy to people as I once caused them pain. Even more, if possible. But...

She buries her face in her hands.

 - But I have this feeling that I'll keep causing people trouble even against my will. Some of my actions almost cost Guion his health and even his life. He gets angry when I blame myself for it, but I can't shake the feeling that I'm responsible. And my friends, my good acquaintances... They suffer or die. Just yesterday, when I was preparing for the circus performance and gathering people - a maniac infiltrated the group of actors and slaughtered half the troupe! - she angrily punches her knee. - And I could have prevented it, but I didn't! I turned out to be a... bad organizer, I didn't take care of the actors' safety, and people died because of me! I didn't want that, God knows, but it happened, and I can't help but feel responsible. And when we fought the monster that destroyed the city center... I had a cat, and it died in that battle. It... I was definitely responsible for it; it was my cat, given to me by a friend, by a friend whom... whom I also didn't save! I could have saved her, I could have saved both of my friends, but I chickened out, and I would have had to sacrifice other people to save them both... I don't want that. I've already caused enough harm. I want to do only good. Enough. Just enough, I just want to somehow atone for my guilt before the gods, before the world. I don't want anyone around me to suffer or die; I don't want to be even indirectly responsible for it... Maybe... Maybe I'm just made to do evil, and all my attempts to change it are in vain...

At the last words, she couldn't hold back and burst into tears.