Ple-Sen
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— "Revelation begins with slanders about one's own parents, religion, and homeland; clearly, there's no point in listening any further," the patriarch decided and banished Alaria Doran from this world, — said the patriarch, but in reality, he did nothing more, only smiled faintly, — just kidding. "I come here with peace and joy," reads the inscription engraved above the entrance to the house of God, and you, more than anyone else, should heed it, even while standing on the other side of this divine threshold. I thank you for your sincerity, Alaria, child of Tanaris, but know that you are deeply mistaken, confusing the rite of repentance for sins with a secular condemnation of your life, deeds, and weaknesses. — The priest's blue eyes looked deeper than the outward appearance of the one confessing. — You seem to me to be a person for whom personal interests will always take precedence at a crucial moment, and contrary to your background, religious conviction is clearly not something you possess today, so I will state your situation from a worldly point of view. You have traveled a long and difficult path, overcome great trials, but still returned to the bosom of comfort — with all your limbs intact, a sound mind, still young, with a roof over your head, prospects in life, physical characteristics above average... And yet, all I see in you is hatred towards yourself and complaints about your fate. Rational assessment of your behavior and the results of your thinking is wonderful, but a person with your mindset will not be useful to this world. Nor will they be useful to those who called them here, or even to themselves. Answer me this question: if you were given the opportunity to sell a part of your humanity in exchange for longevity, personal strength, or power, would you take it or not?
— Thank you for your honesty, Your Eminence, — the girl initially wanted to indulge in another ritual of self-flagellation, but stopped herself in time, — as for your question, sometimes I dream that I have already done it. I don't know if this is a manifestation of my fears, vague visions of the future, or fragmented memories of my future fate. To be honest, I would most likely take that opportunity. The reasons why I might refrain are, in general, prosaic: potential ostracism, harm to my loved ones, or some other side effects that complicate life. When one of my comrades fell victim to such a curse, it was difficult for me not to feel, for a split second, envy. It is also difficult not to feel envy towards sorcerers or other creatures. Because, as you rightly noted, I am consumed by self-hatred. I feel weak. And I always want more. This act would only be another attempt to escape this feeling of weakness. But would it help? Only for a short time. I understand that too. Eventually, even that will not be enough. But even with this understanding, the temptation remains. And it is this that I want to change within myself, — a firm determination shone in the Tanarisian's eyes, — all my life I have been running away from problems. You see what this has done to my personality. I could try to run away today, but I still decided to break the habit that is familiar to me. Because if I live like this for even one day, or a thousand, the result will be the same, no matter where I am. And it is this desire to change that has brought me here to you. Not so that you can somehow magically change me, of course, but as a sign to myself. A sign of my willingness to change and overcome my nature, even if it costs me my existence. The first step of many, but it is still something. If you don't mind, Your Eminence, allow me to ask you a question in return. Do you see in me what I see? Do you see my willingness to change for the better?
Goodbye to everyone.